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 Truman Capote Quotation"It's a scientific fact ... For every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ." Movie Title: Truman Capote's Trilogy (1969) as Narrator: Narrator : To tell the truth, our only really profitable enterprise was the 'fun & freak museum' we conducted in the woodshed two summers ago. The 'fun' was a stereopticon with slide views of Washington and New York, lent us by a relative who had BEEN to those places. The 'freak' was a three-legged biddy chicken hatched by one of our own hens. Everybody hereabouts wanted to see that biddy. We charged grown-ups a nickel, kids two cents, and took in a good twenty dollars before the museum shut down--due to the decease of the main attraction. Narrator : In addition to never having seen a movie, she has never eaten in a restaurant, traveled more than five miles from home, received or sent a telegram, read anything except the funny papers and the Bible, worn cosmetics, cursed, wished someone harm, told a lie on purpose, let a hungry dog go hungry. Narrator : Who are our cakes for? Friends. Not necessarily neighbor friends: indeed, the larger share are intended for persons we've met maybe once, perhaps not at all. People who've struck our fancy. Like President Roosevelt. Like the Reverend and Mrs. J.C. Lucey, Baptist missionaries to Borneo who lectured here last winter. Or the little knife grinder who comes through town twice a year. Or Abner Packer, the driver of the six o'clock bus from Mobile, who exchanges waves with us every day as he passes in a dust-cloud whoosh. Or the young Wistons, a California couple whose car one afternoon broke down outside the house and who spent a pleasant hour chatting with us on the porch. Young Mr. Wiston snapped our picture, the only one we've ever had taken. Is it because my friend is shy with everyone except strangers that these strangers, and merest acquaintances, seem to us our truest friends? I think yes. Narrator : This is our last Christmas together. Life separates us. Those Who Know Best decide that I belong in a military school. And so follows a miserable succession of bugle-blowing prisons, grim reveille-ridden summer camps. I have a new home, too. But it doesn't count. Home is where my friend is, and there I never go. And there she remains, puttering around the kitchen. Alone with Queenie. Then alone. Narrator : A morning arrives in November, a leafless, birdless coming of winter morning, when she cannot rouse herself to exclaim:...'Oh my, it's fruitcake weather!'...and when that happens, I know it. A message saying so merely confirms a piece of news some secret vein had already received, severing from me an irreplaceable part of myself, letting it loose like a kite on a broken string. That is why, on this particular December morning, I keep searching the sky. As if I expected to see, rather like hearts, a lost pair of kites hurrying toward heaven. Movie Title: Murder by Death (1976) as Lionel Twain: Sidney Wang : Yes, is confusing. Lionel Twain : IT! IT is confusing! Say your goddamn pronouns! Lionel Twain : That drives me crazy! Sam Diamond : Sounds like a short ride to me. Lionel Twain : You've tricked and fooled your readers for years. You've tortured us all with surprise endings that made no sense. You've introduced characters in the last five pages that were never in the book before. You've withheld clues and information that made it impossible for us to guess who did it. But now, the tables are turned. Millions of angry mystery readers are now getting their revenge. When the world learns I've outsmarted you, they'll be selling your $1.95 books for twelve cents. Lionel Twain : I'm the greatest, I'm number one! Sam Diamond : To me, you look like number two, know what I mean? Dora Charleston : What DOES he mean, Miss Skeffington? Tess Skeffington : I'll tell you later. It's disgusting. Sidney Wang : Oh, there, voice come from cow on wall... Lionel Twain : Moose, moose you imbecile! Lionel Twain : I trust you've all been made comfortable? Dick Charleston : Comfortable, Mr. Twain? You call poisoned wine and near decapitation comfortable? Lionel Twain : No. I call it inspiration. Sidney Wang : What meaning of this, Mr. Twain? Lionel Twain : I will tell you, Mr. Wang, if YOU can tell me why a man who possesses one of the most brilliant minds of this century can't say his prepositions or articles. "THE," Mr. Wang. "What is THE meaning of this?" Lionel Twain : How do I look so young? Quite simple. A complete vegetable diet, twelve hours sleep a night, and *lots* and *lots* of makeup. Sam Diamond : You say you know who's going to get it? Lionel Twain : Intimately. Inspector Milo Perrier : And you know how the crime is to be committed? Lionel Twain : Definitely. Sidney Wang : And exactly what time murder to take place? Lionel Twain : *The* murder. Precisely. Dora Charleston : Well, I know it's none of my business, but doesn't that mean that you're the murderer, Mr. Twain? Lionel Twain : No wives! I refuse to discuss this with wives! Lionel Twain : Aha, stumped already. Need some clues, Monsieur Perrier? Inspector Milo Perrier : Clues? I need no clues from you! I find my own clues, you demented lollipop! |
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