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 Harold Ramis Quotation[During the 20 year Ghostbusters reunion commentary on the Ghostbusters DVD] "Acting is all about big hair and funny props... All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it." "At first I would get mail saying, 'Oh, you must be a Christian because the movie [Groundhog Day (1993)] so beautifully expresses Christian belief.' Then rabbis started calling from all over, saying they were preaching the film as their next sermon. And the Buddhists! Well, I knew they loved it because my mother-in-law has lived in a Buddhist meditation centre for 30 years and my wife lived there for five years." - remarks to the New York Times on the ecumenical popularity of Groundhog Day (1993). [On whether he and Bill Murray would consider doing a third Ghostbusters movie] "My attitude is generally like Bill's old attitude-- there's no point unless it has some interesting quality or something to say about the subject. Personally, I don't rule it out. I'm skeptical, but maybe it'll work." Movie Title: Stripes (1981) as Russell Ziskey: John Winger : I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I've lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend. Russell Ziskey : You still have your health. Russell Ziskey : I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way. Russell Ziskey : You could join a monastery. John Winger : Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls? Russell Ziskey : Never. John Winger : So much for the monastery. Russell Ziskey : I once got my ass kicked in Wisconsin. Recruiter : Now, are either of you homosexuals? John Winger : You mean like flaming? Or part time? Recruiter : Well, it's a question we have to ask of all our new recruits. Russell Ziskey : No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn. Movie Title: Orange County (2002) as Don.Durkett: Don.Durkett : SEAN! You're my same height, that is neat. Movie Title: Ghost Busters (1984) as Dr. Egon Spengler: Winston Zeddemore : Hey, wait a minute. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hold it. Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city? Dr. Egon Spengler : Sumerian, not Babylonian. Dr. Peter Venkman : Yeah. Big difference. Winston Zeddemore : No offense, guys, but I've gotta get my own lawyer. Dr. Peter Venkman : This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Mayor : What do you mean, "biblical"? Dr. Raymond Stantz : What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Dr. Peter Venkman : Exactly. Dr. Raymond Stantz : Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Dr. Egon Spengler : Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes... Winston Zeddemore : The dead rising from the grave. Dr. Peter Venkman : Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. Dr. Raymond Stantz : You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment. Dr. Egon Spengler : I blame myself. Dr. Peter Venkman : So do I. Dr. Raymond Stantz : Well, no sense in worrying about it now. Dr. Peter Venkman : Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back. Dr. Raymond Stantz : I think we'd better split up. Dr. Egon Spengler : Good idea. Dr. Peter Venkman : Yeah... we can do more damage that way. [evaluating a site for their business] Dr. Peter Venkman : What do you think, Egon? Dr. Egon Spengler : I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone. Dr. Raymond Stantz : Hey. Does this pole still work? [slides down a fireman's pole] Dr. Raymond Stantz : Wow. This place is great. When can we move in? You gotta try this pole. I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey. We should stay here. Tonight. Sleep here. You know, to try it out. [Venkman looks at Spengler. Spengler slowly shakes his head. Venkman turns to the real estate agent] Dr. Peter Venkman : I think we'll take it. Dr. Peter Venkman : Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left? Dr. Egon Spengler : Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. Dr. Egon Spengler : I feel like the floor of a taxi cab. Dr. Egon Spengler : There's something very important I forgot to tell you. Dr. Peter Venkman : What? Dr. Egon Spengler : Don't cross the streams. Dr. Peter Venkman : Why? Dr. Egon Spengler : It would be bad. Dr. Peter Venkman : I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"? Dr. Egon Spengler : Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Dr. Raymond Stantz : Total protonic reversal. Dr. Peter Venkman : That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon. Janine Melnitz : You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too. Dr. Egon Spengler : Print is dead. Janine Melnitz : Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies? Dr. Egon Spengler : I collect spores, molds, and fungus. Dr. Peter Venkman : Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that? Dr. Egon Spengler : That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me. Janine Melnitz : Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley? Louis : [to Egon] Do I? Dr. Egon Spengler : Yes, have some. Louis : [to Janine] Yes, have some. [Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Gozer and is now the Keymaster] Dr. Egon Spengler : Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for? Louis Tully : Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you! [In a TV commercial] Dr. Raymond Stantz : Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? Dr. Egon Spengler : Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic? Dr. Peter Venkman : Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost? Dr. Raymond Stantz : If the answer is "yes," then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals... Dr. Raymond Stantz , Dr. Egon Spengler , Dr. Peter Venkman : Ghostbusters. Dr. Raymond Stantz : Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs. Dr. Raymond Stantz , Dr. Egon Spengler , Dr. Peter Venkman : We're ready to believe you. Dr. Peter Venkman : All right, this chick is TOAST. Okay sticks? Dr. Raymond Stantz , Dr. Egon Spengler , Winston Zeddemore : PULLED 'EM. Dr. Peter Venkman : Heat 'em up. Dr. Raymond Stantz , Dr. Egon Spengler , Winston Zeddemore : SMOKIN'. Dr. Peter Venkman : Bang 'em hard. Dr. Raymond Stantz , Dr. Egon Spengler , Winston Zeddemore : READY. Dr. Peter Venkman : Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown. Dr. Egon Spengler : I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon. Winston Zeddemore : What do you mean, big? Dr. Egon Spengler : Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds. Winston Zeddemore : That's a big Twinkie. [after Venkman's close encounter with a ghost] Dr. Peter Venkman : He slimed me. Dr. Raymond Stantz : That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move? [over walkie-talkie] Dr. Egon Spengler : Ray, Ray, come in please. Dr. Peter Venkman : I feel so funky. Janine Melnitz : I think it's great that you're looking after that man. You're a real humanitarian. Dr. Egon Spengler : I don't think he's human. Dr. Raymond Stantz : Are you okay? Louis Tully : Who are you guys? Dr. Raymond Stantz : We're the Ghostbusters. Louis Tully : Who does your taxes? Dr. Raymond Stantz : You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual. Louis Tully : I know! Dr. Raymond Stantz : You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909! Louis Tully : Felt great. Dr. Egon Spengler : We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue. Louis Tully : Okay. Walter Peck : Hold it! I want this man arrested! Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is a direct result of it! Dr. Egon Spengler : YOUR MOTHER! Dr. Peter Venkman : How's the cellblock holding up? Dr. Egon Spengler : Not good. Winston Zeddemore : Tell him about *the Twinkie*. Dr. Peter Venkman : What about *the Twinkie*? Movie Title: Heavy Metal (1981) as Zeks: Zeks : Look, man, if there's one thing I know, it's how to drive while I'm stoned. You know your perception is completely fucked so you just let your hands work the controls as if you were straight. Movie Title: Ghostbusters II (1989) as Egon: Peter Venkman : Hi, Egon. How's school? I bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours, huh? Egon : I think they're more interested in my epididymis. Egon : Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610. Peter Venkman : 105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he? Ray : He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, streched, disembowled, drawn and quartered. Peter Venkman : Ouch. Winston : Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh? Egon : No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy. Peter Venkman : Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch? Ray : And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, he said, "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back." Egon : Venkman, get a stool sample. Peter Venkman : Business, or personal? Louis Tully : Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you. [the courtroom is in bewildered silence] Egon : Very good Louis. Short, but pointless. Egon : I'd like to run some gynecological tests on the mother. Peter Venkman : Who wouldn't? Ray : You mean you never even had a Slinky? Egon : We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it. Ray : You think this river of slime has anything to do with this Vigo character? Egon : Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9? Egon : Vigo the Carpathian. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy. Peter Venkman : Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch? Peter Venkman : Doh! Ray : Re! Egon : Egon! Dana : How is he these days? Egon : Peter? Well, he was borderline for a while... then he crossed the border. Egon : Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy. [looking at Oscar's nursery] Egon : Cozy. My parents didn't believe in toys. [piloting the Statue of Liberty] Egon : We're running out of time, Ray, it's almost midnight. Can't you make her go any faster? Ray : I'm afraid the vibrations will shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet. Egon : I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray. Peter Venkman : Hey, she's tough. She's a harbor chick! Egon : Ray, we'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please? [Ray has stepped in front of Vigo, blocking the Ghostbuster's attack] Egon : Ray... we'd like to shoot the monster, could you move please? Peter: Ray? Winston : RAY! [Ray turns around, he is Ray/Vigo] Ray/Vigo: NO! I, Ray, and Vigo shall rule the Earth! Begone, you pitiful huntsmen! Peter: Now! ['Busters attack] Egon : I think that was the old New York Central City Albany! Derailed in 1920! Killed hundreds of people! Did you catch the number on the locomotive? Winston : Sorry. I missed it. Janosz : [singing] They will come from behind... Ah, ah... why am I drippings with goo? Egon : You had a violent prolonged transformative psychic episode. Movie Title: Airheads (1994) as Chris Moore: [Chazz and Rex are testing Chris] Chazz : Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God? Chris Moore : Lemmy. [Rex imitates a game show buzzer] Chris Moore : ... God? Rex : Wrong, dickhead, trick question. Lemmy *IS* God. Chazz : Okay, lemme ask you a question: who's side did you take in the big David Lee Roth-Van Halen split? Chris Moore : What? Marcus : What kind of question is that? Chazz : Who's side did you take: Halen or Roth? Chris Moore : ...Van Halen Ian : HE'S A COP! Movie Title: As Good as It Gets (1997) as Dr. Martin Bettes: Carol : Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit! Beverly Connelly : Carol! Carol : Sorry. Dr. Martin Bettes : It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name. Dr. Martin Bettes : My wife is Melvin Udall's publisher. She said that I was to take excellent care of this little guy because you are urgently needed back at work. What kind of work do you do? Carol Connelly : I'm a waitress. Beverly Connelly : In Manhattan. |
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