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 Brad Pitt Quotation"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed." - Us Weekly, September 18, 2000 "I'm gonna design my own fleet of trailers. No! I'm gonna record an album like Jennifer Lopez. It'll be an acoustic version of K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Then maybe I'll design a line of clothes like Puff Daddy, but all in synthetic fur." "I'd like to design something like a city or a museum. I want to do something hands on rather than just play golf which is the sport of the religious right." "Fame is a bitch, man." - Viasat magazine, May 2001 "You know, I telephoned my grandparents the other day, and my grandfather said to me, 'We saw your movie.' 'Which one?' I said, and he shouted, 'Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn't like?' I thought that was just classic. I mean, if that doesn't keep your feet on the ground, what would?" - on what keeps him humble "I'm one of those people you hate because of genetics. It's the truth." "Success is a beast. And it actually puts the emphasis on the wrong thing. You get away with more instead of looking within." Movie Title: Se7en (1995) as David Mills: John Doe : It's more comfortable for you to label me as insane. David Mills : It's VERY comfortable. David Mills : Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people. John Doe : Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets! David Mills : Murderers? John Doe : A woman... David Mills : Murderers, John, like yourself? John Doe : [interrupts] A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever. David Mills : Do you like what you do for a living? These things you see? Man in Massage Parlour Booth : No, I don't. But that's life. David Mills : Yeah, a landlord's dream: a paralyzed tenant with no tongue. William Somerset : Who pays the rent on time. William Somerset : I just don't think I can continue to live in a place that embraces and nurtures apathy as if it was virtue. David Mills : You're no different. You're no better. William Somerset : I didn't say I was different or better. I'm not. Hell, I sympathize; I sympathize completely. Apathy is the solution. I mean, it's easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It's easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It's easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. Hell, love costs: it takes effort and work. David Mills : Fuckin' Dante... poetry-writing faggot! Piece of shit, motherfucker! David Mills : Wait a minute... I thought all you did was kill innocent people. John Doe : Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? John Doe : Realize detective, the only reason that I'm here right now is that I wanted to be. David Mills : No, no, we would have got you eventually. John Doe : Oh really? So, what were you doing? Biding your time? Toying with me? Allowing five innocent people to die until you felt like springing your trap? Tell me, what was the indisputable evidence you were going to use on me right before I walked up to you and put my hands in the air? William Somerset : This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient. David Mills : He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! David Mills : C'mon, he's insane. Look. Right now he's probably dancing around in his grandma's panties, yeah, rubbing himself in peanut butter. David Mills : I don't think you're quitting because you believe these things you say. I don't. I think you want to believe them, because you're quitting. And you want me to agree with you, and you want me to say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. It's all fucked up. It's a fucking mess. We should all go live in a fucking log cabin." But I won't. I don't agree with you. I do not. I can't. David Mills : You're no messiah. You're a movie of the week. You're a fucking t-shirt, at best. David Mills : I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!"? Yeah. Do you guys do that? [William Somerset looks at an object in the road] David Mills : What do you got? William Somerset : Dead dog. John Doe : I didn't do that. David Mills : Honestly, have you ever seen anything like this? William Somerset : No. David Mills : Get out of the FUCKING HALL, police! David Mills : He's fuckin' with us! [Mills bends over a desk] David Mills : See this? This is us. David Mills : I seem to remember breaking down your door. John Doe : Yes. And I seem to remember breaking your face. David Mills : What's in the box? William Somerset : We'll just talk to him. David Mills : Uh huh. Yeah. Excuse me, sir. Are you, by any chance, a serial killer? Okay. William Somerset : You do the talking. Put that silver tongue of yours to work. David Mills : Have you been talking to my wife? [picks up the phone] David Mills : Hello? John Doe : I admire you. I don't know how you found me, but imagine my surprise. I respect you law enforcement agents more everyday. David Mills : Well, I appreciate that... John. I tell you... John Doe : No, no, you listen, all right? I'll be readjusting my schedule in light of today's little... setback. I just had to call and express my admiration. Sorry I had to hurt... one of you, but I really didn't have a choice, did I? David Mills : Hmm. John Doe : You will accept my apology, won't you? I feel like saying more, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. [hangs up] Movie Title: Jackass (2000) as Brad Pitt: Bam Margera : I'm Bam Margera, and I feel like kicking my dad's ass all day today! Brad Pitt : Hi, I'm Brad Pitt and I'm about to get abducted. Movie Title: Meet Joe Black (1998) as Joe / Joe Black: Joe Black : Careful Bill, you'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation. Drew : And who would've thought... you, an IRS agent. Joe Black : Death and Taxes. William Parrish : You want me to be your guide? Joe Black : You fit the bill, Bill. Drew : We all know this deal is as certain as death and taxes. Joe Black : Death and taxes? Drew : Yes. Joe Black : *Death* and taxes? Drew : Yes. Joe Black : What an odd pairing. Susan Parrish : Tell me you love me now. Joe Black : I love you now. I love you always. Joe Black : Thank you for loving me. Joe Black : I can't believe you people. I come for you, and you want to stay, I let you stay and you want to go. William Parrish : Do you know about money? Joe Black : It can't buy happiness? Joe Black : I don't care Bill. I love her. William Parrish : How perfect for you - to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That's not love. Joe Black : Then what is it? William Parrish : Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging - it's missing everything that matters. Joe Black : Which is what? William Parrish : Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love. Joe Black : So that's what love is according to William Parrish? William Parrish : Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I'm talking about. Joe Black : Those were my words. William Parrish : They're mine now. William Parrish : You're at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong woman! Joe Black : Are you threatening me? William Parrish : Yeah, I certainly hope so. Joe Black : Should you choose to test my resolve in this matter, you will be facing a finality beyond your comprehension, and you will not be counting days, or months, or years, but milleniums in a place with no doors. [Watching the fireworks above the party before they depart] William Parrish : It's hard to let go, isn't it? Joe Black : Yes it is, Bill. William Parrish : What can I tell you. That's life. Joe Black : Don't be feisty, sista. Jamaican Woman : I not be feisty mista. You com' for me that's good news. Joe Black : Can do no right by people. I com' to take you you want to stay - I leave you stay, you want to go. Joe Black : You got enough nice pictures? Susan: What will we do now? Joe : It will come to us. Movie Title: Spy Game (2001) as Tom Bishop: Nathan Muir : See that building across the way? Tom Bishop : Yeah. Nathan Muir : Do you know anyone there? Tom Bishop : No. Nathan Muir : In five minutes I want to see you on the balcony. Tom Bishop : What do- Nathan Muir : Five minutes. Tom Bishop : Can't we discuss it over coffee? Nathan Muir : You just lost ten seconds. Nathan Muir : Where did you learn to shoot? Tom Bishop : Boy Scouts, sir. Tom Bishop : She's just someone I used to get to the camp. Nathan Muir : She gonna be of any more use to us? Tom Bishop : Not to us. Sheik's Doctor: Does it hurt? To take life? Tom Bishop : [Long pause] Yes. Tom Bishop : Central Intelligence? Nathan Muir : You'd be working for me. Mostly undercover. Tom Bishop : Happy? Nathan Muir : Seventy-five casualties, an apartment block leveled, one dead terrorist? Yeah, happy. Tom Bishop : We have some fucked up barometer for success, don't we? Tom Bishop : [walking in on Nathan Muir shaving] My god, you're hideous! Why do you even bother? Movie Title: A River Runs Through It (1992) as Paul: Paul : Oh, I'll never leave Montana, brother. Norman : You're late, Neal. Neal Burns : Yeah, yeah, I didn't get in until late. Paul : Well, I didn't get in at all but I was here. Norman : Neil. Paul. Paul. Neil. Paul : Neal, in Montana there's three things we're never late for: church, work and fishing. Paul : Couldn't you find him? Norman : The hell with him. Paul : Well, I thought we were supposed to help him. Norman : How the hell do you help that son of a bitch? Paul : By taking him fishing. Norman : He doesn't like fishing. He doesn't like Montana and he sure as hell doesn't like me. Paul : Well, maybe what he likes is somebody trying to help him. Norman : I'm in deep trouble. Paul : Yep. Want me to come over and protect you? Paul : Hello, Jess. Jesse : Hey, Paul. Paul : How's your brother? Jesse : You both left him alone. Paul : Well, I'm sorry about that. That was my fault. Jesse : Well, you're not forgiven. Paul : Was Norman forgiven? Jesse : Norman's not funny. Movie Title: The Mexican (2001) as Jerry: Jerry : I need a lift in your el truck-o to the next town-o! Car Thief : If you're going to kill me at least tell me who it is that's going to send me to God. Tell me! Jerry : Look, I'm not going to kill you. But I am going to have to shoot you. Car Thief : But why, sir? Why? Jerry : Why? Why? Because you stole from me and you know about the pistol and you're just gonna steal again and I can't have you coming back in the situation like a fly in the ointment. Car Thief : No, I won't be a fly! You'll never see me again. Jerry : Look, you're getting shot and that's it. It will take you time to get to the next town especially if you're limping. Car Thief : Wait! Wait! What? Limping? Can't you just tie me up some more? I mean, fuck, you shoot me? Tie me! Jerry : Yeah. I don't have a rope. Car Thief : So you shoot me? Jerry : It's the American way. Samantha : I have to ask you a question. It's a good one so think about it. If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough? Jerry : Never. Jerry : "Elllll-Camino!" Samantha : All right. Jerry, I want you to acknowledge that my needs means nothing to you and you're a selfish prick and a liar. Jerry : Oh, my God! Samantha : Jerry, acknowledge. Jerry : I... Ok. I will acknowledge that I promised to go to Vegas with you. But now we're just slightly delayed. If you want to construe my wanting to stay alive as being selfish, well, then okay. But I have every intention of going with you because your needs are very important to me, sweetheart. Come on. Look at my all my stuff here, all over the pavement. Come on, baby? Huh? What do you say? Ok? Samantha : I'm going with or without you, Jerry. What's it gonna be? A bastard! Jerry : A bastard. What happened to, uh, "sweetheart" and "big love" and all those things you called me in the bedroom last night? Samantha : The only thing I'm interested in calling you, Jerry, is a cab! Jerry : You're missing the grand design here! If I don't go, I'm dead! Yeah. And it's a little hard to carry on a relationship when I'm stuffed with straw and formaldehyde. Jerry : I don't know what it takes! I'm new in the fuck you business. Jerry : Yeah..."you're just doing your job..." Ted : Hey, I do what I have to do, okay? Jerry : Would you listen to yourself? You sound like Schultz from Hogan's Heroes! [Imitating] Jerry : "I know nothing! Nothing!" Jerry : Baby, what are you doing? Samantha : You said this was your last job, Jerry! Jerry : What do you want me to say? I'm sorry, I can't, the old lady wants me to quit. Fuck off. Samantha : Yes! Something like that. Like exactly! Jerry : I'm not in insurance, sweetie! Jerry : Just one more word Sam, and I'll crash THIS FUCKING CAR! Leroy : I know we're all a little grouchy right now. We'll get something to eat, you'll get the pistol and then we'll go our separate ways. Samantha : Really separate ways. Jerry : Don't start, Sam. Samantha : Shut up. I'll start because I have the right... Jerry : Why do you do that? Do not tell me to shut up. We had an agreement, remember? Samantha : Shut up. Leroy : Why don't we all shut up a bit? Jerry : I swear to God, I will crash this fucking car right now. Leroy : Jerry, don't do that. Jerry : I will. One more word out of you. Another word, Sam. One more word. I swear to fucking God. Samantha : Naugahyde. Jerry : All right. Samantha : Do you have any idea what I have been through these last few days? Jerry : Oh, Sam, whatever you've been through multiply that by 1000 and you'll have a vague conception of where I'm at. Samantha : Oh! Oh, isn't that typical, Jerry? It's all a competition. Tit for tat, tat for tit. Jerry : Stop yelling, for Christ sake! Listen, how are you? Are you ok? Are you all right? Where are you? Samantha : Toluca airport, Jerry. And things are shitty, really shitty! Movie Title: Seven Years in Tibet (1997) as Heinrich Harrer: Heinrich Harrer : Ugh! Butter tea, it was never my cup of tea. [On the Himalayas] Heinrich Harrer : A place rich with all the strange beauty of your nighttime dreams. Heinrich Harrer : I have nothing to do with your silly war. Ngawang Jigme : Hello, my friend. We did what was best for our country, for Tibet. Heinrich Harrer : On the way to Lhasa I would see Tibetans wearing those jackets. 'Chinese soldiers very nice. Give food, clothes and money. Very nice.' It's strange to me that something so harmless as a jacket can symbolize such a great lie. Ngawang Jigme : After all these years you still don't understand our Tibetan ways. To return a gift is unforgivable. Heinrich Harrer : A man who betrays his culture shouldn't preach about its customs. There was a time I would have wished you dead but your shame will be your torture and your torture will be your life. I wish it to be long. Heinrich Harrer : In my humble opinion, this is ridiculous. Peter Aufschnaiter : Well, then, since you're so humble, we won't ask your opinion. Dalai Lama : ...You can not ask a devout people to disregard a precious teaching. Heinrich Harrer : Yes but Your Holiness, with due respect, erm, we can't possibly [laughs] Heinrich Harrer : I'm sorry, but we can't possibly save all the worms! Not if you want a theater in this lifetime. Dalai Lama : You have a clever mind. Think of a solution. And in the meantime you can explain to me, what is an elevator. Heinrich Harrer : It's strange to me that something so harmless as a jacket could symbolize such a great lie. Heinrich Harrer : There was a time that I would have wished you dead but your shame shall be your torture and your torture will be your life! I wish it to be long. Peter Aufschnaiter : You should have told me how bad that wound was. I should take a look at it. I can sew it up. Heinrich Harrer : It's not your problem. Peter Aufschnaiter : Actually it is my problem. It's my life. Heinrich Harrer : What? Peter Aufschnaiter : When you conceal serious injury and put my life at risk I consider that my problem. Heinrich Harrer : No, you put your life at risk. I saved it so shut up! Peter Aufschnaiter : Please, it's not your place. Heinrich Harrer : Shut up! Peter Aufschnaiter : Next time you lie about an injury, Heinrich, you're off the team. Heinrich Harrer : Try it. Peter Aufschnaiter : Oh, by the way, I heard the Japanese have retreated all the way back to Shanghai. So even if you make it to the Chinese border you may have difficulties catching up with them. Heinrich Harrer : I don't care if they've retreated all the way back to Tokyo. Peter Aufschnaiter : You should if you want to get back to Austria. Heinrich Harrer : But I don't. Peter Aufschnaiter : You don't what? Heinrich Harrer : Plan to go back. Peter Aufschnaiter : Why not? Heinrich Harrer : No particular reason. But when you get there tell my wife that two years in prison camp is roughly equal ant to four years of marriage and I'm glad to be free of them both. Peter Aufschnaiter : Know what time it is? You think I'm so happy to be travelling with you I should pay for it? You're such a big man that you don't need to contribute? Heinrich Harrer : You have a problem, Peter? Peter Aufschnaiter : It reminds me of what you said at the bazaar back there. 'If I had a watch like that I would trade it.' You do not have one, you cheap, lying bastard! You have three! Heinrich Harrer : This is junk from some Italian prisoners. Peter Aufschnaiter : I don't give a shit! Haven't you ever heard of a principle? Heinrich Harrer : What principle? What? You want a watch? Go ahead, take one, and keep your principles. Peter Aufschnaiter : Look at you! Caught being a selfish brat and you're gloating! Heinrich Harrer : You're acting like an old woman, Peter. What do you want? Peter Aufschnaiter : Try apologizing. Try feeling a little remorse. And for all that's fair try to wipe that smirk off your face! Heinrich Harrer : In this place where time stands still it seems like everything is moving. Including me. I can't say I know where I'm going nor if my bad deeds can be purified. There are so many things I have done that I regret. But when I come to a full stop I hope you understand that the distance between us is not as great as it seems. Heinrich Harrer : That's the Olympic gold medal. Not important. Pema Lhaki : This is another great difference between our civilization and yours. You admire the man who pushes his way to the top in any walk of life, while we admire the man who abandons his ego. Dalai Lama : Do you listen to news from your country? Heinrich Harrer : From Austria? No, not really. Give me some light, Kundun. Dalai Lama : Why? It's your home. Heinrich Harrer : Not anymore it isn't. Dalai Lama : But don't you have friends and family there? Heinrich Harrer : A few friends, no family. Keep the light steady, your Holiness. Dalai Lama : Why? Is everyone dead? Heinrich Harrer : Do you know there's another way a sentence can be constructed than a question? I was married but I'm divorced. Dalai Lama : What did you do? Heinrich Harrer : I didn't want a child so I ran away to climb a mountain. Dalai Lama : I can't sleep. I'm afraid the dream might come back. Heinrich Harrer : A couple of insomniacs. Dalai Lama : Tell me a story, Heinrich. Tell me a story about climbing mountains. Heinrich Harrer : That's one way to fall asleep. Those stories bore even me. Dalai Lama : Then tell me what you love about it. Heinrich Harrer : The absolute simplicity. That's what I love. When you're climbing your mind is clear and free from all confusions. You have focus. And suddenly the light becomes sharper, the sounds are richer and you're filled with the deep, powerful presence of life. I've only felt that one other time. Dalai Lama : When? Heinrich Harrer : In your presence, Kundun. Heinrich Harrer : You have to leave. You have to leave Tibet, Kundun. Your life's at great risk. Forgive my presumption but I have made arrangements to get you out safely. We should leave directly after the enthronement, the Chinese won't expect it. Dalai Lama : How can I help people if I run away from them? What kind of leader would I be? I have to stay here, Heinrich. Serving others is my path to deliberation. Heinrich Harrer : Then I don't go either. Dalai Lama : Why not? Heinrich Harrer : Because you are my path to deliberation. Dalai Lama : The Buddha said 'Salvation doesn't come from the sight of me. It demands strenuous effort and practise. So work hard and seek your own salvation constantly.' I am not your son. And I've never thought of you as my father. You've been much too informal to me for that. Do you ever think about him? [Heinrich cries, nodding] Dalai Lama : And what do you think about? Heinrich Harrer : It's not a conscious thought really, Kundun. He is always there. When I crossed Tibet he was with me. When I came to Lhasa he was with me. When I sit beside you he is there with me. I can't even imagine how to picture the world without him in it. Movie Title: Twelve Monkeys (1995) as Jeffrey Goines: Jeffrey Goines : There is no such thing as right and wrong, there's just popular opinion. L.J. Washington : I don't really come from outer space. Jeffrey Goines : Oh. L. J. Washington. He doesn't really come from outer space. L.J. Washington : Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend? Jeffrey Goines : Telephone call? Telephone call? That's communication with the outside world. Doctor's *discretion*. Nuh-uh. Look, hey - all of these nuts could just make phone calls, they could spread insanity, oozing through telephone cables, oozing into the ears of all these poor sane people, infecting them. Wackos everywhere, plague of madness. Jeffrey Goines : There was this guy, and he was always requesting shows that had already played. Yes. No. You have to tell her before. He couldn't quite grasp the idea that the charge nurse couldn't make it be yesterday. She couldn't turn back time, thank you, Einstein! Now, *he* was nuts! *He* was a fruitcake, Jim! Jeffrey Goines : You know what crazy is? Crazy is majority rules. Take germs for example. James Cole : Germs? Jeffrey Goines : Uh-huh. Eighteenth century, no such thing, nada, nothing. No one ever imagined such a thing. No sane person. Along comes this doctor, uh, Semmelweis, Semmelweis. Semmelweis comes along. He's trying to convince people, other doctors mainly, that's there's these teeny tiny invisible bad things called germs that get into your body and make you sick. He's trying to get doctors to wash their hands. What is this guy? Crazy? Teeny, tiny, invisible? What do they call it? Uh-uh, germs? Huh? What? Now, up to the 20th century, last week, as a matter of fact, before I got dragged into this hellhole. I go in to order a burger at this fast food joint, and the guy drops it on the floor. James, he picks it up, he wipes it off, he hands it to me like it's all OK. "What about the germs?" I say. He says, "I don't believe in germs. Germs is a plot made up so they could sell disinfectants and soaps." Now he's crazy, right? James Cole : Look at them. They're just asking for it. Maybe the human race deserves to be wiped out. Jeffrey Goines : Wiping out the human race? That's a great idea. That's great. But more of a long-term thing. I mean, first we have to focus on more immediate goals. Jeffrey Goines : Sorry. Sorry. I got a little agitated. The thought of escape crossed my mind, and then suddenly - suddenly - suddenly I felt like bending the fucking bars back, ripping the goddamn window frames and eating them - yes, *eating* them! Leaping, leaping, leaping! Colonics for everyone! All right! You dumbasses. I'm a mental patient. I'm *supposed* to act out! Jeffrey Goines : You are a total nutcase, completely deranged, delusional, paranoid. Your thought process is all fucked up. Your information train is jammed, man! Jeffrey Goines : There's the television. It's all right there - all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we *for* then? We're consumers, Jim. Yeah. Okay, okay. Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, if you don't, what are you then, I ask you? What? Mentally *ill*. Fact, Jim, fact - if you don't buy things - toilet paper, new cars, computerized yo-yos, electrically-operated sexual devices, servo systems with brain-implanted headphones, screwdrivers with miniature built-in radar devices, voice-activated computers... Jeffrey Goines : You dumb assholes, I'm a mental patient, I'm supposed to act out! Jeffrey Goines : Do you realize where he thinks he comes from? Jeffrey Goines : My father is God! I worship my father! Jeffrey Goines : When I was institutionalized, my brain was studied exhaustively by the guys of mental health. I was interrogated, I was x-rayed, I was examined *thoroughly*. [turns head and coughs] Jeffrey Goines : Then, they took everything about me and put it into a computer where they created this model of my mind. Yes! Using that model they managed to generate every thought I could possibly have in the next, say, 10 years. Which they then filtered through a probability matrix of some kind to - to determine everything I was gonna do in that period. So you see, she knew I was gonna lead the Army of the Twelve Monkeys into the pages of history before it ever even occurred to me. She knows everything I'm ever gonna do before I know it myself. How's that? Jeffrey Goines : My father's going to be very upset when he hears about this! And when my father gets upset, the ground SHAKES! Jeffrey Goines : Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls? Jeffrey Goines : ...and if you forget one thing i will have you shaved, sterilized, and destroyed! Jeffrey Goines : Fuck the Bozoes! Jeffrey Goines : [sighs] Get out of my chair! Dr. Leland Goines : My God, Jeffrey. You truly are insane. Jeffrey Goines : No I'm not. Movie Title: Cutting Class (1989) as Dwight Ingalls: Dwight Ingalls : You know, Your fathers a lot bigger than I am. Of course, I bigger where it REALLY counts! Dwight Ingalls : Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU! Coach Harris : Fuck you too. Dwight Ingalls : You can't talk to students like that. Coach Harris : Fuck you! Now suit up! Dwight Ingalls : Ladies first. Colleen : Why thank you. [Colleen walks in front of Paula] Dwight Ingalls : No, I said LADIES first. Paula Carson : Why thank you! Colleen : ...such an ass! Shultz : I'm the custodian of your fucking lives! Dwight Ingalls : [to Paula] That guy is fried! Dwight Ingalls : [Locked out of the school] Shultz! I need to get my math book! You know, a book? Shultz : The thing with pages? Dwight Ingalls : Yeah! Shultz : Never saw one. School is closed! Movie Title: Kalifornia (1993) as Early Grayce: Early Grayce : Tell me, big shot, how you gonna write a book about something you know nothing about? Brian Kessler : How many people have you killed, Early? Early Grayce : Well, now, how many people have you seen me kill, Bri? Brian Kessler : None. Early Grayce : That's how many I killed. Brian Kessler : If you say so. Early Grayce : Damn right I do. Shut up! Eat your food. You ain't never killed no one, have you, Bri? Brian Kessler : No. Early Grayce : No. Ain't seen nobody killed either, have you? Brian Kessler : No, I haven't. Early Grayce : No. Tell me something, big time. How are you going to write a book about something you know nothing about? Early Grayce : Some day me and Adele be walking down the road and we'll see your book and we'll buy it and put it on our coffee table. Early Grayce : Cold weather makes people stupid and that's a fact. Adele Corners : Will you tell me more about California? Early Grayce : Yeah, I guess so. Let's see. One thing, people think faster out there on the account of all that warm weather. Cold weather makes people stupid. That's a fact. Adele Corners : I guess that explains why there's so many stupid people around here. Early Grayce : It sure does. You know what else? You never have to buy no fruit on account it's all on the trees everywhere you turn. And they ain't got no speed limits. I hear your first month's rent is free, state law. So I'm thinking till we get settled we'll just move around from month to month. How will that be with you, momma? Adele Corners : What are we going to do out there, Early? Early Grayce : By God the first thing we're going to do is get us ! a couple of six-packs of Lucky Lager and we're going to climb up to that famous Hollywood sign. We're going to howl at the moon, goddamn it. [howls] Early Grayce : Yeah, just like that. Adele Corners : I heard once that there ain't nothing on that old moon except some little golf balls the astronauts left behind. Early Grayce : Nah, that ain't right. That's bullshit. The government be sending people there all the time. Just don't want us to know about it. Early Grayce : Reebs. That's what we used to call them when we was kids. It's beer spelled backwards. Early Grayce : Hey, if you switched two letters in your name it'd spell, um... brain! Early Grayce : Is it just me, or did this trip go downhill since we ran out of Lucky lager. [about Chinese food] Early Grayce : Smells like butt! Early Grayce : What is that? Adele Corners : That's Lucy. Hey, that's mine. Early Grayce : Adele, what kind of cuckoo-brain carries a cactus in her purse? Huh? Adele Corners : I don't know. Early Grayce : Straighten up. Adele Corners : Oh Jesus, Early, they look kinda weird. Early Grayce : Will you just smile and let me do the talking. Adele Corners : How many times are you going to tell me that? Early Grayce : As many times it takes, Adele. Early Grayce : I was reading in your deal there how they never caught that Black Dolly killer. Brian Kessler : Black Dahlia. Early Grayce : Yeah. Brian Kessler : They didn't. Early Grayce : I was wondering how come. See what I'm getting at? It's like 'Hmm?'. Brian Kessler : Well, some people think he just stopped killing and disappeared back into society. Early Grayce : That's fine and dandy, but I wanna know what a smart fella like yourself thinks. Brian Kessler : I always thought it was the work of a serial killer. You know, anybody who took such time and care bisecting another human being. Early Grayce : Bisecting? Brian Kessler : You know, he cut them in two. Early Grayce : Oh, he hacked them up? Brian Kessler : In two pieces, yeah. In half. Anybody who did that much have been enjoying it and he would have done it again and again until someone stopped him. Early Grayce : That's good. That's a good theory, Bri. You wanna hear mine? Brian Kessler : Sure. Early Grayce : OK. Ain't you gonna record it? Brian Kessler : Early Grace's Black Dahlia theory. June 23rd. Early Grayce : OK. Now, I'm betting his still alive. Real old, living in a trailer park or something, somewheres. But he's alive, see. Now, he's thinking about what he's done, going over it and over it in his head, every night, thinking how smart he is for getting away with it. Early Grayce : How long have you had your woman, bud? Brian Kessler : Three years. Early Grayce : Yeah? She's a good one. She's a breeder, you dog. Brian Kessler : I'll tell her you said she's a breeder. She'll like that. I'll tell her that. Early Grayce : Only thing my old man ever gave me was this goddamn .45. Japanese but it's pretty good. Go on, shoot it. Brian Kessler : No, I never did this. I don't know how to do this. Early Grayce : Yeah, you can do it. Point and shoot the damn thing. No, bud, you're jerking it. You're all like this. You gotta hold it soft, like your pecker. OK? Early Grayce : What's your name, boy? Walter Livesy : Walter Livesy. Early Grayce : Well, I think I gotta kill you, Walter. How you feel about that? Walter Livesy : Not so good. Are you sure you have to? Early Grayce : Don't know. Wish I did. Carrie Laughlin : Early, please be. Early Grayce : Shut up! Goddammit! I'm trying to have a conversation with Walter! Sorry about that, Walter. Where you from? Walter Livesy : Vernon, Florida. Early Grayce : Don't know it. Any hunting? Walter Livesy : Turkeys sometimes. Early Grayce : Yeah, turkeys are real smart. Smarter than most people think. Tell you what, Walter. I want you down on your belly. Get on your belly. I want you to stay there a long time after we leave. We got a deal, son? Walter Livesy : Yeah. Yes, sir. You mind if I hold onto that Bible over there? Early Grayce : What do you want with a Bible, Walter? Huh? He thinks I'm gonna kill him. Now that would make me a liar, wouldn't it? Walter Livesy : No. Early Grayce : No? Early Grayce : Got them both on the dead run. Adele Corners : No! No, no, no Early! Early Grayce : Come on, momma. [Walks over to Brian who is standing over the wounded cop] Early Grayce : Tell me that don't hurt. Here. [Hands Brian a gun while pointing another one at his head] Brian Kessler : What? Early Grayce : Gotta put that crippled dog out of his misery. You wanna know about it, you gotta do it, son. Shoot him. Come on, lay it on in there. Come on, mean boy. Come on, mean boy. Do it! Shoot him! Shoot the dog! Time to live, boy. Shoot him. Come on. Go! Go, mean boy. [Brian drops the gun] Early Grayce : You faggot. Brian Kessler : Look at his face! It's not your father. Look at him! Early Grayce : I know that, you idiot. That's police in a world of hurting. This here's a mercy killing. [He kills the cop] Carrie Laughlin : Oh God! Early Grayce : Let's hit the road. Early Grayce : You haven't even said thank you. Adele Corners : Thank you. Early Grayce : Thank you for what, Adele? Adele Corners : I don't know, Early. Early Grayce : Well, Adele, it's for saving your fucking life back there! Goddamn! You were this close, momma, from spending the night in the county morgue. Carrie Laughlin : He wasn't going to shoot her, you murdering son of a bitch! Brian Kessler : Stop it, Carrie. Carrie Laughlin : What are you fucking insane? Brian Kessler : Shut up! Carrie Laughlin : He's a monster! Brian Kessler : Shut up, Carrie! Early Grayce : Momma? What are you crying for? I'm the one who got hit. Adele Corners : Cos I decided, Early, I'm not gonna climb up that Hollywood sign with you. Early Grayce : And why not? Adele Corners : Cos you're mean, Early. Early Grayce : No, I'm not. Adele Corners : You hurt those people, Early. I don't wanna do it with you. I loved you, Early. You just be quiet. You are mean. Movie Title: Thelma & Louise (1991) as J.D.: J.D. : Well, I've always believed that if done properly, armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience. J.D. : So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean God gets you something special, I think you oughta pass it on. Thelma : Well, Daryl, that's my husband. J.D. : Daryl? Thelma : Yeah, he says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile. Louise : He's got a lot to be proud of. Thelma : Louise and him don't get along. Louise : That's putting it mildly. Thelma : She thinks he's a pig. Louise : I KNOW he's a pig. Thelma : You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya? J.D. : Well I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealing my heart. Movie Title: Legends of the Fall (1994) as Tristan: Samuel : Still hung over? Tristan : Still drunk! Susannah : Were you going to say goodbye? Tristan? How long will you be gone? Tristan : Not long. A few months. Susannah : I can make it better for you. Tristan : No. Susannah : If we'd had a child or if I were pregnant, would you still be going? Tristan : Yes. Susannah : Just give me a chance. Tristan : Don't do that. Susannah : Look at me. Please, look at me. I'll wait for you. However long it takes. I'll wait for you forever. Tristan : Samuel, God bless you. You are good at everything you try to do. I'm sure it'll be the same with fucking. Samuel : Tristan, really. We're talking about my future wife. Tristan : Oh, you're not gonna fuck her? Samuel : No! I'm planning to be with her. Tristan : I recommend fucking. Samuel : You're impossible! Tristan : You brought it up! Tristan : You know when Samuel died... when Samuel died, I cursed God. Did I damn everybody around me as well as myself? Tristan : You guys look like a bunch of ice-cream cones! Tristan : Miss Finncannon. It's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you and ugly here find every happiness together. Samuel : Tristan! Get back to your unit! Tristan : Those boys are boring. I'd rather have you watching my back. Canadian Soldier: MacKenzie was just brought in, his leg's turned bad. He said... Tristan : What? Alfred : He said what? Go on man, what is it? Canadian Soldier: He said your brother, he volunteered to take his place and go over on the reconnaissance. Alfred : [To Tristan] God damn it! I told you to stay with him! Tristan : Alfred's going to do well wherever he is. Colonel Ludlow : Except here with us. Tristan : That's my fault. Colonel Ludlow : I didn't say that. Tristan : I couldn't bring Samuel back home alive either, could I? Colonel Ludlow : Don't you dare say that boy! That was in God's hands. Tristan : Was it? Tristan : Because you love her, I will forgive that, ONCE! Say that again, and you are no longer my brother. Alfred : When are you planning to be married? Tristan : Morning. Alfred : Damn you, Tristan. You will marry her. Tristan : And make a honest woman out of her? Alfred : Yes! God damn you to hell. Tristan : Yes, I will marry her if she'll have me. Alfred : If she'll have you? Do you love her? Or did you seduce her just to spite me? Tristan : It's not what I did. Alfred : And what about Samuel? Tristan : What about Samuel? Alfred : You tell me about Samuel. Tristan : We all loved Samuel. Samuel's dead. What? Alfred : How convenient that is for you. Tristan : Because you love her I will forgive you for that. Once! You say that again and we're not brothers. Tristan : Samuel! Samuel, come here! Run along now. Go to Pet. Get him in the house! John T. O'Banion : He's a fine boy. You know we're not here to arrest you. Tristan : You take me to the woods. I don't want my boy to see. Let's get on with it. Alfred : You don't have to be a genius to figure out they're coming after you for this. Tristan : Yeah. Alfred? Alfred : Yeah? Tristan : I want to ask you to watch over my children. Watch over Samuel. Alfred : Brother, it will be an honor. Movie Title: Snatch: Pigs and Diamonds (2000) as Mickey: Mickey : [roused from his drunken stupor] I need to have a shite. Turkish : Well, do you want to do it? Mickey : That depends. Turkish : On what? Mickey : On you buying this caravan. Not the rouge one, the rose. Turkish : It's not the same caravan. Mickey : It's not the same fight. Turkish : It's twice the fucking size of the last one. Mickey : Turkish, the fight is twice the size. And me ma still needs a caravan. I like to look after me ma. It's a fair deal. Take it. Turkish : Mickey, you're lucky we aren't worm food after your last performance. Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich. [Realizes his mistake] Turkish : I wasn't calling your mum a tart. I just meant... Mickey : Save your breath for cooling your porridge. Hey, look [starts talking incoherently] Mickey : Right. And she's terribly partial to the periwinkle blue. Have I made myself clear, lads? Turkish : Yeah, that's perfectly clear, Mickey. Just give me one minute to confer with my colleague. [to Tommy] Turkish : Did you understand a single word of what he just said? Mickey : I bet ya can box a little, can't ya sir? Aye, you look like a boxer. Mickey : Good dags. D'ya like dags? Tommy : Dags? Mickey : What? Mrs. O'Neil : Yeah, dags. Tommy : Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more. Turkish : I'm sorry, Mickey. Mickey : Did ya do it? Then why are ya sorry? Mickey : Ya got a good kick fer a fat fella. Gorgeous George : You better stay down. [throws Mickey into a wooden fence] Mickey : The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. See that car? Just use it for you're not welcome anymore. You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you. Gorgeous George : Nobody. Mickey : Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking, right? Tommy : Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep the caravan. Mickey : Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels? You want to settle this with a fight? Mrs. O'Neil : Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! I'll not have you fighting, Mickey! You know what happens when you fight. Mickey : Get her to sit down. For fuck's sake! Want the money? I ain't fucked you. I'll fight you for it. You and me. Gorgeous George : Get back down or you will not be coming up next time. [watches as Mickey warms up] Gorgeous George : Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here. Mickey : You're not going anywhere, you thick lump. [Pulls off his shirt] Mickey : You stay until the job's done. [kisses his good luck charms and knocks Gorgeous out with a single punch] Turkish : [narrating] It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble explaining why a man died in their campsite? Not when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp. It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy, 'The Tit', is praying. And if he isn't he fucking should be. Mickey : I'll tell ya what. I'll do it for a caravan. Turkish : For what? Pikeys: For a caravan . Tommy : It was who wanted a caravan. [looking around] Tommy : Anyway, what's wrong with this one? Mickey : It's not for me. It's for me ma. Turkish : Your what? Pikeys: His ma. Movie Title: Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003) as Sinbad: Proteus : It's my responsibility to bring the Book of Peace safely to Syracuse. Sinbad : See, now I just feel bad, 'cause you're gonna get fired. Sinbad : And you are? Eris : Eris, the goddess of discord. You may have seen my likeness on the temple walls. Sinbad : You know, they don't do you justice. Kale : What happened down there? Sinbad : You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Kale : Try me. Sinbad : Okay, here goes. So I meet Eris, the goddess of discord? She's got a major crush on me, and she invited me back to her place. Proteus : Do you have any idea how serious this is? Sinbad : Do you have any idea how many times I've heard that today? Sinbad : Look, this is the way it works. First, I actually commit a crime, *then* you get to blame me for it! Kale : Fiji? Sinbad : Think of the beaches! Kale : Beautiful - if you like mosquitoes. Sinbad : Think of the sun! Kale : It's monsoon season! Sinbad : The women, then! Kale : They're cannibals there. Sinbad : Exactly! Marina : Are you sure... Sinbad : Yes, we have done this kind of thing before, no, there is no other way, and yes, you do have my permission to stand there quietly and receive a free lesson in sailing. Sinbad : Who's bad? Sinbad! [About Marina] Sinbad : How can one woman do so much damage? Marina : Knife, please. Sinbad : Oh, right, like I'd give you a weapon. [Everyone is seasick from being towed in the wake of a giant fish] Sinbad : Whose idea was that again? Marina : I don't know... but he owes me lunch. [Going to rescue Marina from a giant bird] Sinbad : She couldn't see the bird? Everyone else saw it. It's as big as the freaking ship! Marina? Marina is looking the other way. Marina : So, how do we get down? Sinbad : I don't know. [She stares at him] Sinbad : I don't know yet. Marina : You scaled a thousand-foot tower of ice, and you don't know how to get down? Sinbad : Hey, if you'd rather take your chances by yourself, that can be arranged! Sinbad : Pray to the gods. We may be meeting them soon. Sinbad : This has to be a little embarrassing for you, Eris. Eris : Don't push your luck. You're cute. You're not that cute. Marina : You came to rescue me? Sinbad : Well - yes, if that's what you want to call it. But this is going to cost you another diamond. Rescues are not part of the usual tourist package. [it is cold and Kale is bare-chested] Sinbad : Put a shirt on before you poke someone's eye out! Sinbad : What is it? Rat : It just ends, captain. It's the edge of the world. Jin : Pay up. It's flat. Sinbad : A sword at my throat [pause] Sinbad : at my chest [pause] Sinbad : at my [points towards his groin] Sinbad : [quick cut to sailor] Sailor: Pickles and eggs. Movie Title: Troy (2004) as Achilles: Agamemnon : A great victory was won today, but that victory was not yours. Kings do not kneel to Achilles. Kings do not pay homage to Achilles. Achilles : Perhaps the kings were too far behind to see: the soldiers won the battle. Agamemnon : History remembers KINGS, not soldiers! Tomorrow we'll batter down the gates of Troy. I'll build monuments for victory on every island of Greece. I'll carve Agamemnon in the stones. Achilles : Be careful King of kings. First you need the victory. Achilles : Before my time is done I will look down on your corpse and smile. Achilles : You're still my enemy in the morning. Priam : You're still my enemy tonight. But even enemies can show respect. Achilles : Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I hear he's good at charming other men's wives. Achilles : Is there no one else? Is there no one else? Achilles : You gave me peace in a lifetime of war. Achilles : [when asked why he let Hector go] It's too early in the day to be killing princes. Briseis : You lost your cousin, and now you have taken mine. Where does it end? Achilles : It never ends. Achilles : [to his men] Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any army of thousands! Let no man forget how menacing we are, we are lions! Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours! Achilles : [to Hector] Get up, Prince of Troy! I won't let a stone rob me of my glory! Messenger Boy : They say you can't be killed. Achilles : Well, I wouldn't be bothering with the shield then, would I? Briseis : Why did you choose this life? Achilles : What life? Briseis : To be a great warrior. Achilles : I chose nothing. I was born and this is what I am. Achilles : Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn't that be a sight? [goes to fight Boagrius] Agamemnon : Of all the warlords loved by the gods, I hate him the most. Hector : I thought it was you I was fighting yesterday, and I wish it *had* been you. Achilles : You won't have eyes tonight, you won't have ears or a tongue. You will wander the underworld blind, deaf, and dumb, and all the dead will know, "This is Hector, the fool who thought he killed Achilles." Agamemnon : You came here so your name would be remembered in history. But Kings are remembered - not soldiers. Kings did not surrender to Achilles. Kings did not bow to Achilles. Achilles : Maybe kings were too far behind him to see. Achilles : [To Priam] You are a far better king than the one leading this army. Achilles : There are no pacts between lions and men. Achilles : [removing his helmet] Now you know who you are fighting! Messenger Boy : The Thessalonian you're fighting, he's the biggest man I've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him. Achilles : That is why no one will remember your name. Priam : I have endured what no one on earth has endured. I have kissed the hands of the man who killed my son. Achilles : Priam? Achilles : Let me tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are now. We will never be here again. Achilles : Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed Achilles : Men are wretched things. Achilles : The gods envy us... because every breath might be our last. Everything's more beautiful that way. Achilles : It never ends. Odysseus : We need you. Greece needs you. Achilles : Greece got along fine before I was born. And Greece will remain Greece long after I am gone. Briseis : Would you leave this all behind? Achilles : Would you leave Troy? Achilles : You were brave to fight them. Briseis : To fight back when I'm attacked? A dog has that kind of courage. Achilles : He killed my cousin! Priam : He thought it was you. How many cousins have you killed? How many fathers and brothers and sons and husbands, how many, brave Achilles? Achilles : At night I sometimes see them. The faces of the men I killed. They're waiting for me on the far bank of the Styx. They say, "Welcome, brother." Achilles : I told you how to fight but I never told you why to fight. Patroclus : I fight for you. Achilles : Yes, but who will you fight for when I'm gone? Soldiers fight for kings they've never even met. They fight when they're told to fight, they die when they're told to die. Patroclus : Soldiers obey. Achilles : Immortality is yours! Movie Title: Sleepers (1996) as Michael: Michael : Revenge. Sweet lasting revenge. Now it's time for all of us to get a taste. Michael : Do you still sleep with the lights on? Movie Title: True Romance (1993) as Floyd: Floyd : Don't condescend me, man. I'll fuckin' kill ya, man. Movie Title: Cool World (1992) as Frank Harris: [Deebs and Harris watch Holly dance] Frank Harris : You think she's got a thing for you, don't you? That's cute... but don't flatter yourself. That one... she's a waste of ink. Frank Harris : Noids do not have sex with doodles. It's the oldest law in Cool World. I've never had to enforce it. You cross that line I'll slap you around and make you piss like a puppy. Jack, you think she got a thing for you, don't you? That's sweet. But don't flatter yourself. She's a waste of ink. Truth is she's been after me and every other noid who's come through here. It's just that no one's been insane enough to get involved with her. You keep your pencil in your pocket. Know what I mean? Frank Harris : You're a wacka-do. Jack Deebs : I'm a cartoonist. I drew all this. I have visions. I translate this. Frank Harris : You do nothing, man. This place exists with or without you. You believe me, right? I'm not one of your creations. Jack Deebs : Right. You're not pretty enough. Frank Harris : Good one. Have a seat. Frank Harris : You screwed us all... for a piece of ass? Frank Harris : A little late for a lady to be out on the streets, don't you think? I've got a couple of questions for you, miss. Lonette : Oh, come on, officer. Let it slide, would you? I'm tired. Frank Harris : Word is you have a thing for noids. Lonette : Yeah, I've got a thing for noids, but what's it to you, tough guy? Frank Harris : Baby, you don't know how tough it is. Lonette : You're late. Frank Harris : Ah, you're killing me. Why are you so beautiful? Frank Harris : Hey, sexy. Lonette : It's the man with the badge. Frank Harris : In the flesh. Lonette : Don't remind me. Frank Harris : How can I help it? What are you doing to me? You're messing me up. Lonette : Oh, honey, you're tense. It's Holli again, isn't it? Frank Harris : Yeah, Miss Holli Would-if-she-could. That dame. You heard anything? Lonette : Now you know I don't listen to that sleazy cow. Frank Harris : Don't. Just don't. Lonette : But why? Frank Harris : Because we can never finish it, Lonette. It's frustrating. I'm like a plug without a socket, you know? Frank Harris : Baby, you and me, I can't have that in the real world. I can't live without you. But I can't be with you. What do you do, huh? What do you do? Lonette : Well, we're just going to have to pretend, then, aren't we? Holli Would : You want to know what it is about you that really kicks my ass, Harris? Frank Harris : How about my foot? Frank Harris : When your partner gets inked, you do something about it. He was your partner, so you do something. Lonette : Well, I'm not buying it. Frank Harris : How about a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Lonette : Can't you use think about me for a minute, Frank? I mean, where does this leave me? Frank Harris : What are you mad about? Lonette : I'm mad because you talk about crossing and you don't even care how it makes me feel! Frank Harris : I don't even care? How do you feel? Lonette : Left out! Frank Harris : You think I want to go back there? You think I want to go back? Lonette : Now why wouldn't you want to go back? That's real to you, isn't it? Frank Harris : Let me tell you something about over there. It hurts over there. It's lonely over there. It's a war over there. They got 8 million ways for you to die on and they're all permanent. This is real for me, this with you. If I want to stay with you, I gotta go back. Movie Title: Fight Club (1999) as Tyler Durden: Tyler Durden : Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. Tyler Durden : All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not. Tyler Durden : In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway. Tyler Durden : You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. Tyler Durden : Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. Tyler Durden : The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club, someone yells "Stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule, one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no shirt, no shoes. Seventh rule, fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight. Tyler Durden : It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. [after meeting and having sex with Marla] Tyler Durden : Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though... Tyler Durden : The things you own end up owning you. Narrator : Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you? Tyler Durden : C'mon, do me this one favor. Narrator : Why? Tyler Durden : Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You? Narrator : No, but that's a good thing. Tyler Durden : No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve. Narrator : This is crazy. Tyler Durden : So go crazy. Let 'er rip. Narrator : I don't know about this. Tyler Durden : I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care? Narrator : Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you? Tyler Durden : That's right. Narrator : What, like in the face? Tyler Durden : Surprise me. Narrator : This is so fucking stupid... [Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head] Tyler Durden : Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear! Narrator : Well, Jesus, I'm sorry. Tyler Durden : Ow, Christ... why the ear, man? Narrator : Guess I fucked it up... Tyler Durden : No, that was perfect! [Tyler and Narrator are discussing ideal opponents] Tyler Durden : OK: any historic figure. Narrator : I'd fight Gandhi. Tyler Durden : Good answer. Narrator : How about you? Tyler Durden : Lincoln. Narrator : Lincoln? Tyler Durden : Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger. Tyler Durden : Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm? Narrator : No, I did not know that; is that true? Tyler Durden : That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items. Narrator : Really...? Tyler Durden : If one were so inclined. Narrator : Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving... Tyler Durden : Oh I get it, it's very clever. Narrator : Thank you. Tyler Durden : How's that working out for you? Narrator : What? Tyler Durden : Being clever. Narrator : Great. Tyler Durden : Keep it up then... Right up. [Gets up from airplane seat] Tyler Durden : Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...? Tyler Durden : You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh. [while burning the Narrator's hand with lye] Tyler Durden : Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? Narrator : No, no, I... don't... Tyler Durden : Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. Narrator : It isn't? Tyler Durden : Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. [meeting aboard an airliner] Narrator : What do you do for a living? Tyler Durden : Why? So you can pretend like you're interested? Narrator : He was *the* guerilla terrorist in the food service industry. [the Narrator looks at Tyler, who's urinating in a pot] Tyler Durden : Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch. Narrator : Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well... Tyler Durden : [snickers] Go ahead. Tell 'em. Narrator : ...you get the idea. Tyler Durden : Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Tyler Durden : Do you know what a "duvet" is? Narrator : It's a comforter... Tyler Durden : It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Narrator : [reading] "I am Jack's colon." Tyler Durden : I get cancer, I kill Jack. [after deliberately crashing the car on the side of the road] Tyler Durden : Goddamn! [Histerical laughs] Tyler Durden : You just had a near-life experience! Tyler Durden : It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. Narrator : There's always that. [The narrator pulls a loose tooth out of his mouth] Tyler Durden : Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart. Tyler Durden : Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me. Tyler Durden : The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans. Narrator : Wait. What is this place? Tyler Durden : A liposuction clinic. Tyler Durden : We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. Narrator : Martha Stewart. Tyler Durden : Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns. [Of Marla] Tyler Durden : She's a predator posing as a house pet. [Pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] Tyler Durden : Emergency water landing, 600 miles an hour: blank faces, calm as Hindu cows. Tyler Durden : [His face is soaked in blood. He is shaking it over Lou and screaming] You don't know where I've been. You don't know where I've been. Just let us have the basement Lou. [while the narrator is on the phone with the police] Tyler Durden : Tell him. Tell him, "The liberator who destroyed my property has realigned my perceptions". Tyler Durden : Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction... Narrator : What are we doing tonight? Tyler Durden : Tonight? We make soap. Narrator : Really. Tyler Durden : To make soap, first we render fat. Narrator : Hello? Tyler Durden : [Eating breakfast cereal] Who is this? Narrator : Tyler? Tyler Durden : Who is this? Narrator : Uh... we met... we met on the airplane. We had the same suitcase. Uh... the clever guy? Tyler Durden : Oh yeah, right. [Snickers] Tyler Durden : Ok? Narrator : I called a second ago, th - there was no answer, I'm at the payphone... Tyler Durden : - yeah, I *69ed you, I never pick up my phone. [Crunch, crunch] Tyler Durden : So what's up, huh? Narrator : Uh, well... You're not gonna believe this... Tyler Durden : Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO! [to the Narrator who has just fired a warning shot into the window of an explosives filled van] Tyler Durden : WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE! Tyler Durden : I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll thank me. [about Tyler splicing frames of pornography into family films] Narrator : So when the snoody cat, and the courageous dog, with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the film. [the audience is watching the film, the pornography flashes for a split second] Narrator : Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did... Tyler Durden : A nice, big, cock... [several audience members look rattled, a little girl is crying] Narrator : Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Tyler at work. Tyler Durden : [to club owner] Ahhh... okay, okay, okay, I got it, I got it, I got it. Shit, I lost it. [Club owner punches Tyler in the face] Tyler Durden : [to the police chief] Hi. You're going to call off your rigorous investigation. You're going to publically state that there is no underground group. Or... these guys are going to take your balls. And send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times press release staff. Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we drive your ambulances. We connect your calls, we guard you while you sleep. Do not... fuck with us. Narrator : You're insane. Tyler Durden : No. YOU ARE! Narrator : Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us slept, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one real. It comes on a few. See, there are these little dots on the screen. Tyler Durden : In the movie industry, we call them "cigarette burns". Narrator : That's the cue for a change-over. The movie keeps on going, and nobody in the audience has any clue. Tyler Durden : Why would anyone want this shit job? Narrator : Because it affords him other interesting opportunities. Tyler Durden : Like splicing single frames of porn into family films... [while narrator is on the phone] Tyler Durden : Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of materiel possessions. Tyler Durden : You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big. [Tyler walks away, throwing his cigarette] Tyler Durden : Get the fuck off my porch. Narrator : Tyler, I'm grateful to you; for everything that you've done for me. But this is too much. I don't want this. Tyler Durden : What do you want? Wanna go back to the shit job, fuckin' condo world, watching sitcoms? Fuck you, I won't do it. [The Narrator's apartment has just been blown to pieces] Narrator : I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was close to being complete. Tyler Durden : Shit man, now it's all gone. Tyler Durden : Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion? Narrator : [with Tyler's gun in his mouth] mm mm mm mm mm mmmmmm. [Tyler removes the gun] Narrator : I still can't think of anything. Tyler Durden : Ah. Flashback humor. Tyler Durden : Just tell him you fuckin' did it. Tell him you blew it all up. That's what he wants to hear. Tyler Durden : We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need. Tyler Durden : Well you did lose a lot of versatile solutions for modern living Narrator : Bob is dead, they shot him in the head! Tyler Durden : You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. Tyler Durden : Now why would you want to put a gun to your head? Narrator : Not my head, Tyler. Our head. Tyler Durden : We are all part of the same compost heap. Tyler Durden : Now, ancient people found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river. You know why? Narrator : No. Tyler Durden : Human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Bodies burnt, water speeded through the wood ashes to create lye. [holds up a bottle] Tyler Durden : This is lye - the crucial ingredient. The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. May I see your hand, please? [Tyler licks his lips until they're gleaming wet - he takes the Narrator's hand and kisses the back of it] Narrator : What is this? Tyler Durden : This... [pours the lye on the Narrator's hand] Tyler Durden : ... is chemical burn. Narrator : But Tyler, you're fucking Marla. Tyler Durden : Technically, you are, but it's all the same to her. Movie Title: Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994) as Louis: Louis : Most of all I longed for death. I know that now. I invited it. A release from the pain of living. My invitation was open to anyone. To the whore at my side, to the pimp that followed. But it was a vampire that accepted. Louis : Her blood coursed through my veins sweeter than life itself. And as it did, Lestat's words made sense to me. I knew peace only when I killed and when I heard her heart in that terrible rhythm, I knew again what peace could be. Louis : For 30 years I had avoided that place. Yet I found my way back there with hardly an upward glance. Louis : You lack the courage of your convictions sir, do it. Lestat : No one could resist me, not even you, Louis. Louis : I tried. Lestat : [smiling] And the more you tried, the more I wanted you. Louis : Do you think I would let them harm you. Claudia : No you would not Louis, danger holds you to me. Louis : Love holds you to me. Claudia : You... fed on me. Louis : I took your life. He gave you a new one. Louis : You see that old woman? That will never happen to you. You will never grow old, and you will never die. Claudia : And it means something else too, doesn't it? I shall never ever grow up. Louis : Lestat killed two, sometimes three a night. A fresh young girl, that was his favorite for the first of the evening. For seconds, he preferred a gilded beautiful youth. But the snob in him loved to hunt in society, and the blood of the aristocrat thrilled him best of all. Louis : Where are we? Lestat : Where do you think, my idiot friend? We're in a nice, filthy cemetery. Does this make you happy? Is this fitting, proper enough? Louis : We belong in hell. Lestat : And what if there is no hell, or they don't want us there? Ever think of that? Louis : But there was a hell, and no matter where we moved to, I was in it. Louis : I'm flesh and blood, but not human. I haven't been human for two hundred years. Lestat : God, I swear you grow more like Louis each day. Then you'll be eating rats. Claudia : Rats? When did you eat rats Louis? Louis : It was a long, long time ago. Before you were born, and I don't recommend them. Louis : How do we seem to you? Do you find us beautiful, magical? Our white skin, our fierce eyes? "Drink" you ask me, do you have any idea of the thing you will become? Claudia : Madeleine, Louis is shy. Madeleine : Drink. Claudia : Do it Louis, because I cannot, I haven't the strength. You saw to that when you made me. Louis : You haven't the vaguest conception under God what you ask. Madeleine : En contraire Monsieur, I have. Claudia : You have found your new companion Louis, You will make me mine. Louis : That morning I was not yet a vampire, and I saw my last sunrise. I remember it completely, and yet I can't recall any sunrise before it. I watched its whole magnificence for the last time as if it were the first. And then I said farewell to sun light, and set out to become what I became. Louis : We reached the Mediterranean. I wanted those waters to be blue, but they were black, nighttime waters, and how I suffered then, straining to recall the color that in my youth I had taken for granted. Louis : Vampires pretending to be humans, pretending to be vampires. Claudia : How avant-garde. Armand : You are beautiful my friend. Lestat must have wept when he made you. Louis : You knew Lestat? Armand : Knew him well enough not to mourn his passing Armand : They had forgotten the first lesson, that we are to be powerful, beautiful, and without regret. Louis : And you can teach me this? Armand : Yes. Louis : To be without regret? Armand : Yes. Louis : Then what a pair we could make, but what if it's a lesson I don't care to learn. Armand : What do you mean? Louis : What if all I have is my suffering, my regret? Armand : Don't you want to lose it? Louis : Why? So you can have that too? The heart that mourns her, her that you burnt to a cinder. Armand : Louis, I swear that I... Louis : Ah, but I know you did. I know. You who regrets nothing, you who feels nothing, if that's all I have left to learn, I can do that on my own... and as much as your invitation may appeal to me, I *regretfully* decline. Claudia : Which one of you did it? Which one of you did it? Which on of you made me the way I am? Lestat : The way you are? A vampire gone insane that pollutes it's own bed? Claudia : And if I cut my hair again? Lestat : It will grow back again. Claudia : But it wasn't always so. I had a mother once, and Louis: he had a wife. He was mortal same as she and so was I. Louis : Claudia. Claudia : You made us what we are, didn't you? Lestat : Stop her, Louis. Claudia : Did you do it to me? [slashes Lestat's face, and it heals immediately] Claudia : How did you do it? Lestat : Why should I tell you? It's in my power. Claudia : Why yours alone? Tell me how it was done. Lestat : Be glad I made you what you are. (grabs her throat with one hand) You'd be dead now if I hadn't, just like that damned corpse. Now, get rid of it. (releases her) Claudia : You get rid of it. Daniel Molloy : So, what do you do? Louis : I'm a vampire. Daniel Molloy : Hmm. That's something I've never heard before. You mean this literally, I take it? Louis : Absolutely. I was waiting for you in that alleyway: watching you watching me. And then you began to speak. Daniel Molloy : What a lucky break for me. Louis : Perhaps lucky for the both of us. Daniel Molloy : You said you were waiting for me. What were you going to do? Kill me, drink my blood, all that stuff? Louis : Yes, but you needn't be concerned with that now. Daniel Molloy : You really believe this, don't you, that you're a vampire? Louis : We can't begin this way. Let me turn on the light. Daniel Molloy : I thought vampires didn't like the light. Louis : We love it. I only wanted to prepare you. Lestat : It's your coffin, my love. Enjoy it. Most of us never get to know what it feels like. Louis : Why do you do this? Lestat : I like to do it. I enjoy it. Take your aesthete's; taste purer things; kill them swiftly, if you will, but do it. For do not doubt: you are a killer, Louis. Lestat : Lord, what I wouldn't give for a drop of good old-fashioned Creole blood. Louis : Yankees are not to your taste? Lestat : Their democratic flavor doesn't suit my palate, Louis. Daniel Molloy : So there are no vampires in Transylvania? No Dracula? Louis : Fictions, my friend. The vulgar fictions of a demented Irishman. Louis : Bear me no ill will my love we are now even. Claudia : What do you mean? Louis : What died in that room was not that woman. What has died is the last breath in me that was human. Claudia : Yes, Father. At last we are even. Claudia : Louis what's happening to her? Louis : She is dying. It happened to you too, but you were to young to remember. Louis : Forgive me if I have a lingering respect for life. Louis : Whatever happened to Lestat I do not know. I go on, night ever night. I feed on those who cross my path. But all my passion went with her golden hair. I'm a spirit of preternatural flesh. Detached. Unchangeable. Empty. Louis : But the world was a tomb to me, a graveyard of broken statues, and each of those statues resembled her face. Louis : I walked all night, I walked as I had walked years before when my mind swarmed with guilt at the thought of killing. I had thought of all the things I had done, and couldn't undo. And I longed for a moments peace. Daniel Molloy : So a vampire can cry. Louis : Once, maybe twice in his own eternity. Maybe it was to quench those tears forever that I took such revenge on them. Lestat : Whining coward of a vampire that prowls the night killing rats and poodles; you could have finished us both. Louis : You've condemned me to Hell. Lestat : I don't know any Hell. Louis : The statue seemed to move, but didn't. The world had changed, yet stayed the same. I was a newborn vampire weeping at the beauty of the night. Louis : 1791 was the year it happened. I was 24, younger than you are now, but times were different then. I was a man at that age: the master of a large plantation just south of New Orleans. I had lost my wife in childbirth. She and the infant had been buried less than half a year; I would have been happy to join them. I couldn't bear the pain of their loss: I longed to be released from it. Louis : A little child she was, but also a fierce killer, now capable of the ruthless pursuit of blood with all a child's demanding. Louis : They know about us. They watch us dine on empty plates and drink from empty glasses. Louis : Blood, I was to find, was a necessity as well. I woke the next evening with a hunger I had never felt. Louis : Thirty years had passed, yet her body remained that of an eternal child. Her eyes alone told the story of her age, staring out from under her doll-like curls, with a questioning that will one day need an answer. Louis : Though the fire seemed to spread through the quarter, I stood on that deck, fearful he would come out again from the very river, like some monster, to destroy us both. And all the while, I thought, 'Lestat, you deserve your vengeance. You gave me the dark gift, and I delivered you into the hands of death for the second time.' Louis : Then out of curiosity, boredom, who knows what, I left the old world and came back to my America. And there, a mechanical wonder allowed me to see the sun rise for the first time in two hundred years. And what sunrises, seen as the human eye could never see them: silver at first, then, as the years progressed, in tones of purple, red, and my long lost blue. Louis : In the spring of 1988, I returned to New Orleans, and as soon as I smelled the air, I knew I was home. It was rich, almost sweet, like the scent of jasmine and roses around our old courtyard. I walked the streets, savoring that long lost perfume. Louis : So it was, when I'd given up the search for vampires, that a vampire found me. Claudia : Where's mama? Lestat : Mama... mama has gone to Heaven, Chèrie, like that sweet lady right there. They all go to Heaven. Louis : All but us. Lestat : Shh. Do you want to frighten our little daughter? Claudia : I'm not your daughter. Lestat : Oh, yes, you are. You're mine and Louis' daughter now. You see, Louis was going to leave us, he was going to go away, but now he's not. Now, he's going to stay and make you happy. Claudia : Louis. Louis : You fiend. Lestat : One happy family. Lestat : Read her thoughts. Louis : I can't. Lestat : The dark gift is different for each of us. Louis : My God, I've failed again. Movie Title: Ocean's Eleven (2001) as Rusty: Bartender : How's the game going? Rusty : Longest hour of my life. Bartender : What? Rusty : I'm running away with your wife. Bartender : Great. Rusty : You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons. Danny : Like what, do you think? Rusty : Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Bowski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever! [Last minute tips for Linus] Rusty : You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances... Livingston : Rus? Rusty : Yeah? Livingston : Come look at this? Rusty : Sure. Rusty : Did someone call for a doctor? [On the phone] Terry : Who the hell is this? Rusty : The man who's robbing you! Tess : We need to get Rusty a girl. Rusty : There's a women's prison down the road! Rusty : You scared? Linus : You suicidal? Rusty : Only in the morning. Danny : Thirteen million and you drive this piece of shit cross country to pick me up? Rusty : Blew it all on the suit. Rusty : The Bellagio and the Mirage. These are Terry Benedict's places. Danny : Yes they are. You think he'll mind? Reuben : Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it. Danny : That was our pleasure. Rusty : I'd never been to Belize. Danny : Why do they always paint hallways that color? Rusty : They say taupe is very soothing. [Danny has just been released from prison, in a tuxedo] Rusty : I hope you were the groom. Danny : Ted Nugent called. He wants his shirt back. [while they are watching a dozen Chinese acrobats at a circus] Danny : Which one is the amazing Yen? Rusty : He's the little Chinese guy. Rusty : Why do this? Danny : Why not do it? [Rusty shakes his head] Danny : Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking "Teen Beat" cover boys. [pause] Danny : Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, then you take the house. Rusty : Been practicing this speech, haven't you? Danny : Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt I rushed it. Rusty : No, it was good, I liked it. The "Teen Beat" thing was harsh. Rusty : God, I'm bored! Danny : You look bored. Rusty : I am bored! [long pause] Rusty : How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent? Danny : Why do you think I came to see you first? Saul : I have a question, say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and passed the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open... Rusty : Without being seen by the cameras. Danny : Oh Yeah, sorry, I forgot to mention that. Saul : ...Yeah well say we do all that... uh... were just supposed to walk out of there with $150,000,000 in cash on us, without getting stopped? Danny : Yeah Saul : Oh, ok. Rusty : [to Danny] Tell me this is not about screwing the guy that's screwing your wife. Danny : Ex-wife. Linus : Smash and grab job, huh? Rusty : Slightly more complicated than that. Linus : Well, yeah. Danny : You gotta walk before you crawl. Rusty : Reverse that. Rusty : What's with the orange? Saul : My doctor says I need vitamins. Rusty : So why don't you take vitamins? Saul : You come here to give me a physical? [discussing possible candidates for their crew] Danny : Phil Turenteen... Rusty : Dead. Danny : No shit. On the job? Rusty : Skin cancer. Danny : D'you send flowers? Rusty : Dated his wife for a while. Danny : We'll need Saul. Rusty : He won't do it. He got out of the game a year ago. Danny : Religion? Rusty : Ulcer. Danny : ...You could ask him. Rusty : Hey, I could ask him. [teaching poker to young Hollywood actors] Rusty : Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game! Shane West : Hit me. Rusty : It's not blackjack. Terry : Alright. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree? Rusty : I would. Terry : Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask. [teaching poker to young actors] Rusty : Barry, your turn. Barry Watson: Uh... four. Rusty : You don't want four. You want to fold. Barry Watson: I do? Is that a good thing? Rusty : 'Wonder what Rueben'll say. Reuben : [Cut to Rueben] YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MINDS! Movie Title: Friends (1994) as Will Colbert / Will: [Will gives a cake to Monica] Will : It's no fat, no sugar, no dairy... It's no good, throw it out. Ross : So what are you up to? Will : I'm a commodities broker. Ross : Really? That sounds interesting? Will : Yeah, no it's not but I'm rich and thin. Will : [about how he hated Rachel in high school] It wasn't just me. We had a club. Rachel : You had a club? Will : That's right. The I Hate Rachel Green Club. Rachel : O my God! So what? You all just join together to hate me? Who else was in this club? Will : Me and Ross. [points to Ross] Ross : No need to point. She knows who Ross is. Will : God, we were lame back then. Remember how into dinosaurs we were? [to Ross] Will : So what do you do now? Will Colbert : Look at her holding those yams. Those are our two worst enemies, Ross - Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates. Movie Title: The Devil's Own (1997) as Rory: [Referring to the men who shot Rory's father] Tom O'Meara : Did they catch the fuckers? Rory : They were the fuckers. Rory : You're a stupid man, Mr. Burke. You only see me standing between you and your money. You're forgetting about the thousand men standing behind me. That's a mistake. Tom O'Meara : What's the money for? I was thinkin' guns. I was thinkin' IRA. Rory : I need that money Tom! Tom O'Meara : Why? So other eight-year-olds can watch their fathers gunned down in front of 'em? If this money leaves here, more people will die. Can you tell me that won't happen? [Looking at a dilapidated boat.] Rory : Here it is: the Irish Republican Navy. Rory : All the same, Mr. Fitzsimmoms, if you're not confused, you don't know what's goin' on. Rory : They say the word peace, but at the end of the day, all they want is surrender. Rory : Don't look for a happy ending. It's not an American story. It's an Irish one. |
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