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 Drew Barrymore Quotation"I know certain actors are totally screwed up on drugs, yet it gets covered up. Why wasn't I excused for 'exhaustion' or 'the flu'?" "There's something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk." "If I ever start talking to you about my 'craft', my 'instrument', you have permission to shoot me." "I believe in fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I think it's important to seek out that reason - that's how you learn." "I believe you can be the person that you dream of being." "I try to make movies that I would want to go see rather than ones I would just want to do as an actor. I want people to have movies full of romance and hope and empowerment, something they can escape into and feel good about. I love happy endings." -- on her favorite movies to make. "Every morning I stay in bed for ten minutes to ponder my place in the universe; then I wash my face and check my karma." - on her morning routine. "Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths." "I love levity. As crazy as I am, I just love to laugh!" Movie Title: Olive, the Other Reindeer (1999) as Olive: Martini : Genuine Rolexes! Ten bucks! Olive : Why does Rolex have three X's? Martini : Typographical error. Factory seconds. Olive : Where's Rudolph? Reindeer: There's no Rudolph. He's just an urban legend. Movie Title: Bad Girls (1994) as Lilly / Lilly Laronette: Anita : The population of the United States is over 63 million people now. Lilly : They sure ain't here. Kid Jarrett : What's your name? Lilly : Lilly. Kid Jarrett : Just Lilly? Lilly : Lilly's enough. Kid Jarrett : Well if you answer to it... Lilly : Well, that depends on who's asking. Lilly Laronette : Eileen, you don't have to throw yourself at the first old fart that comes along. Movie Title: Wishful Thinking (1997) as Lena, the cashier: Henry : I'm really surprised you called me. Lena, the cashier : Well I had a really nice time with you at the party. Henry : I did too with you, it's just, I was really sorry about spilling that wine on your dress. I could have sworn that bottle was empty. Lena, the cashier : It was OK, I actually had a harder time getting the brie out. Henry : Yeah, I mean you gotta admit after a couple drinks those things look a lot like a sponge. Movie Title: Charlie's Angels (2000) as Dylan: Charlie : Good morning, angels. Dylan , Natalie , Alex : Good morning, Charlie! [one of Alex's muffins is embedded in the door] Bosley : What do you call this? Dylan : Chinese fighting muffin. Bosley : That's not funny. A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags. Chad : Starfish, I would just like to say that I'm honored, honored to see you taking an interest in my work and I also think you're very pretty and... (sees girls getting scuba gear on) Starfish? Where are you going? Starfish are you going swimming? Where are you going? Where are you going again Starfish? Was it the Chad? Dylan : No the Chad was great. Chad : The Chad was great. Chad : Is it the eggs? Dylan : It's not the eggs. Chad : Is it the boat? Dylan : No, it's not the boat, I have to go though. Chad : Is it the Chad? Dylan : It might be the Chad. Chad : The Chad... It's the Chad! [Chad falls into the water] Dylan : And that's kicking your ass! Dylan : Figures that I would find the perfect guy, and he would already have the perfect girl. Natalie : Alex! Don't let him get away! Dylan : It's a round track, Nat, he's not going anywhere! Chad : Good morning Starfish. Dylan : Good morning Chad. Sweet Chad. Dylan : Hold that thought. [ordering at the drive through] Dylan : I'll have three burgers, three French fries and three cherry pies. What do you guys want? Pasqual : You crazy bastard! Dylan : [as Mr. Jones] I think you mean crazy bitch. [mocking Eric Knox] Dylan : I don't know how to make chicken... jerk. Movie Title: Irreconcilable Differences (1984) as Casey Brodsky: Casey Brodsky : I'm just a kid, and I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. But I think you should know better when you're all grown up. I think you should know how to act, and how to treat people. And I think if you once loved someone enough to marry them, you should at least be nice to them, even if you don't love 'em any more. And I think if you have a child, you should treat that child like a human being and not like a pet. Not like you treat your dog or somethin'. You know, when you have a dog sometimes you forget he's there, and then when you get lonely suddenly you remember him, and you remember how cute he is and stuff, and you kiss him a lot, but then the next day when you're busy again you don't notice him. That's how I've been treated for the past 4 years, and you don't treat your kid like your dog. It's not right. Movie Title: Scream (1996) as Casey: Casey : Who's there? Ghostface : Never say who's there? Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something. Casey : Look, I am two seconds away from calling the police! Phone Voice : They'll never make it in time. Casey : Listen, asshole! Phone Voice : No, you listen, you little bitch! You hang up on me again, I'll gut you like a fish, understand? Can you handle that... Blondie? Killer: Okay, answer this question, you live. Who was the killer in Friday the 13th? Casey : Jason! It was Jason! Killer: Nope. Casey : Yes it was! I've seen that movie 30 goddam times! Killer: Then you should know that the killer was Mrs. Voorhees, Jason never appeared until the sequel! Movie Title: The Wedding Singer (1998) as Julia: Robbie : Are you drinking, too? Julia : No, it's Coca-Cola. Robbie : Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-Cola? Julia : I'm not a big drinker. And if it was, I'd probably be puking more than that kid! Robbie : Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than than kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him. Julia : Not porno tongue. Church tongue. Robbie : Church tongue, I like that. Julia : Hey, Glenn, do you mind if we switch seats so I sat in the window seat? Glenn : Mmm. I hate the aisle seat. Every time that drink cart comes by it bangs me in the elbows. Julia : I puked. Robbie : Okay. Don't worry. Julia : I vomited in my hair. Robbie : All right. Julia : Does my hair smell bad? [Robbie smells her hair] Robbie : No, it smells good, actually. Movie Title: Doppelganger: The Evil Within (1993) as Holly Gooding: Holly Gooding : I can't cook but I can cut. Holly Gooding : We didn't do *anything*, you and I - don't confuse me with *her*! Movie Title: Babes in Toyland (1986) as Lisa Piper: Toymaster : Lisa, listen to me. I'm not the one who can save Toyland. You are, only you. Lisa Piper : But what do I have to do? Toymaster : Believe in Toyland, and all that it stands for. Toymaster : Do you want to believe, Lisa? Lisa Piper : Yes, I do. More than anything. I always wanted to be a kid, I always wanted to play with toys. I believe in all of you, and I am still just a kid. I really am. Lisa Piper : How could you wish evil on the most wonderful place that every existed? You're insane. Barnaby : Well, yes! [Barnaby poisons everyone with gas] Lisa Piper : Nothing's happening to me. I guess I'm immune 'cause I'm from Cincinnati. Lisa Piper : I was in this town filled with talking toys and Mother Goose people, and horrible monsters tried to eat me alive! Mrs. Piper : Well, of course they did, honey. Oh, that reminds me, I must call the pest control people. Movie Title: Poison Ivy (1992) as Ivy: [explaining why she drives her convertable with the top down during a rainstorm] Ivy : One day with the top down is better than a lifetime in a box. Movie Title: Mad Love (1995) as Casey: Casey : Matt, I have a question for you. Matt : Uh huh. Casey : If you were able to know when you were going to die, would you want to know? Matt : I feel like an idiot. Casey : You look like an idiot. Matt : I am an idiot. Matt : We're hundreds of miles away from home, what are we supposed to do? Casey : Tap our heels three times? Matt : You think I'm crazy? Casey : You're asking me? Matt : You pulled the alarm? Casey : Yeah. Matt : What are you nuts? Casey : Yeah. Movie Title: Never Been Kissed (1999) as Josie Geller: Josie Geller : I'm not Josie Grossie anymore! Josie Geller : That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time. Sam : All I can tell you is that when you're my age, guys will be lined up around the block for you. Josie Geller : You have to say that 'cause you're my teacher. Sam : Actually, I shouldn't be saying that because I'm your teacher. Rob Geller : I can recognize a cry for help when I see one. Josie Geller : Hear one. Rob Geller : Whatever. Sam : Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to get here Josie Geller : I know what you mean Josie Geller : You know what's a weird word? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie! I don't know how that happened! P.E. Teacher : Now you are gonna complete these sprints, because if you don't, you fail. And if you fail gym, you'll never get into college. Josie Geller : You guys are still telling that lie? Guy Perkins : Hi, I'm Guy. Josie Geller : Yes, you are a guy. Quite a guy. Oh my. Hey, that rhymes! Yikes. Bikes! Guy Perkins : Are you in special-ed? I mean, are you? Josie Geller : That'll teach me to wear white pants after labor day. Gibby Zerefski : Nobody's worn white pants after 1983. Josie Geller : Hey, Guy, guys, Guy's guys! Josie Geller : I have been beating my brains in trying to impress you people. Listen Gibby, Kirstin, Krysten, you will spend your whole lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important, but why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is amazing. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friends after my brother, Rob , told you to like me. There is a great big world out there and it won't matter if you were the most popular girl, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it. Movie Title: Firestarter (1984) as Charlie McGee: Charlie McGee : Where's my father? Captain Hollister : He's fine. He's happy, and he sends his love, and he wants you to cooperate with us. Charlie McGee : You're a liar! Captain Hollister : Now, what kinda talk is that from a nice little girl like you? Charlie McGee : GO TO HELL! Movie Title: Donnie Darko (2001) as Karen Pommeroy: Karen Pommeroy : "It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty." Karen Pommeroy : [To Principle Cole] I don't think that you have a clue what it's like to communicate with these kids. We are losing them to apathy... to this prescribed nonsense. They are slipping away. Karen Pommeroy : A famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words, that 'Cellar Door' was the most beautiful. Movie Title: Riding in Cars with Boys (2001) as Beverly: Beverly : [to Ray who has cut his hand and is bleeding profusely in the house] Stop bleeding! Stop bleeding! Beverly : I'm 22 years old - that's almost 30, and I still haven't accepted that this is my life. And I just wish that I could be dumb. And then I wouldn't know better and I could be happy and stop hoping. And I'm telling you this like you're interested in my boring life. Beverly : He's very handsome, so don't hit him in the face. Raymond Hasek : Please marry me, Bev. Because I'm shit without you. Beverly : Oh how romantic... a marriage proposal that contains the word "shit". Fay : Ok pretend that I'm your parents say what your gonna say. Beverly : ok, Mom, Pop? Fay : Yeah? Beverly : I don't know how to say this but... i'm pregnant. Fay : My daughters a tramp! My daughters a tramp! You are a disgrace! I wish that you were never born! Fay : So how was that? Beverly : I didn't go pat first base which means nothing below the waist... my waist not his. [after Jason falls into a hottub and she is still holding him half in it] Beverly : I promise from now on I'm going to be more attentive. DO you know what attentive means? Jason (Age 6) : No. Beverly : OK. Do you know what responsible means? Jason (Age 6) : No. [drops him back into hot tub] Beverly : Damn! I should've read to you more. Beverly : When will this job ever end! Jason : You call it a job! Beverly : Well, what do you think it is, a calling? Beverly : Mom! Jason won't leave me alone! Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio : He's not supposed to, you're his mother. Beverly : Mom, I have four weeks to study for the SATs. It's for the scholarship. Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio : [sniffs] I told you to change his diaper an hour ago! He loves when you do it. I have to iron now. Beverly : [whining] But Mom... Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio : Change it! Beverly : [Bev is changing Jason] Aaaaah! Aaaaah! [Races to the bathroom and starts brushing her teeth] Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio : What? What happened? Beverly : He peed in my mouth! Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio : [Laughs] Ha ha ha. Jason, you make your grandma so happy. Beverly : [changing Jason's diaper] Mommy has to study. I gotta do everything I can to get us out of here... Ugh, Mr. Stinky Pants. Movie Title: Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003) as Dylan Sanders: Seamus : I've never wanted you more. Dylan Sanders : Always wanting what you can't have. Dylan Sanders : I think she's trying to kill us. [spotting their suspect] Alex Munday : Check it out... brown shorts, red board, 11:00. What d'you think? Dylan Sanders : [looking at the guy] Yummy!... Alex Munday : That's what I thought. Case closed. Nat move in, Dylan thinks he's hot. Dylan Sanders : What do you mean? Alex Munday : You always fall for the bad guy. Mr. Munday : So, you work with Alex at the hospital? Alex Munday : Yes! Natalie works in the Psychiatric Ward. And Dylan is the Head of... Gynecology. Mr. Munday : Really? Dylan Sanders : Um-hmm. Mr. Munday : So young. Dylan Sanders : I know. Alex Munday : We were just on our way out, actually, 'cause we have such a major procedure coming up, Daddy, so... Natalie Cook : Duty calls. Sorry. Dylan Sanders : I've gotta... prep. Natalie Cook : Yeah... scrub up. Ha ha. Mr. Munday : Bu- bye. [Natalie and Dylan say "Bye" together] Mr. Munday : Bye. Alex Munday : See you guys in a minute. It's just a tiny emergency, but make yourself at home, okay. [Kisses him on the cheek] Mr. Munday : We'll talk later, off to the hospital, go save lives. Movie Title: Titan A.E. (2000) as Akima: Akima : You can't call a planet "Bob." Cale : So now you're the boss. You're the King of Bob. Akima : Can't we just call it "Earth"? Cale : No one said you have to live on Bob. Akima : I'm never calling it that. Akima : Should I get out and push? [Walking around inside the Titan] Akima : What exactly are we looking for? Cale : This ship's gonna help us save mankind. Akima : What *exactly* are we looking for? Cale : Not a clue. Movie Title: Best Men (1997) as Hope: Jesse : I'm letting you go. Hope : You're letting me go? What a man thing! Movie Title: Boys on the Side (1995) as Holly: Holly : Did I hurt him? Jane : What do you mean did you hurt him, you hit him with a bat! Movie Title: Home Fries (1998) as Sally: Sally : I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer. Dorian : Oh, can you sing? Sally : No, that's why they call them dreams. Dorian : I'd like to be the father-to-be. Sally : You can't be the father and the brother! That's the kind of thing that messes kids up! Movie Title: 50 First Dates (2004) as Lucy: Lucy : What are you doing? Henry : Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you... Lucy : You were going for a feelski! Henry : Alright, I'm sorry... But this is like the 23rd time we've made out already and... they're getting blue! Lucy : [to Henry] I hardly know you. Marlin : Actually sweetie, you're kind of dating him. [Lucy looks at Henry] Henry : Yeah. Sorry I'm not better looking. Lucy : I wonder what's the matter with him. Old Hawaiian Man : Looks like a stupid asshole to me. Lucy : Can I have one last first kiss? [Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house] Henry : Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now. Lucy : Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food? Henry : Uh, no, I'm from this country. Lucy : Well, were you gonna eat that? [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car] Henry : Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Lucy : Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car... Henry : Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around. Lucy : I can't believe you fell for THAT! [last lines] Henry : Grandpa's here. Lucy : Hi dad. Movie Title: Ever After (1998) as Danielle: Danielle : Forgive me your highness, I did not see you. Prince Henry : Your aim would suggest otherwise. Danielle : You, sir, are supposed to be charming. Prince Henry : And we, princess, are supposed to live happily ever after. Danielle : Says who? Prince Henry : You know, I don't know. Grand Dame : My great-great-grandmother's portrait hung in the monastery up until the Revolution. By then, the truth of the rumors had dissolved into a simple fairy tale. And, while Cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they lived. Danielle : I would rather die a thousand deaths than to see my mother's dress on that spoiled, selfish cow! Danielle : A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live? Leonardo da Vinci : Then I shall have to make you wings. Danielle : It is not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but i have yet to learn yours. Prince Henry : But I should think it was quite obvious. Danielle : You are the only mother I have ever known. Was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all? Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent : How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe? [when the prince asks her to choose a book] Danielle : I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens. Danielle : If you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners corrupted from infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them? Prince Henry : How do you do it? Danielle : What? Prince Henry : Live each day with this kind of passion. Don't you find it exhausting? Danielle : Only when I am around you. Why do you like to irritate me so? Prince Henry : Why do you rise to the occasion? Danielle : Why do you delight in torturing me so? Prince Henry : Why do you rise to the occasion? Prince Henry : Danielle! Danielle : Say it again Prince Henry : I'm sorry Danielle : No, the part where you said my name Henry : You swim alone, climb rocks, rescue servants, is there anything you don't do? Danielle : FLY! Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent : Where is the dress Danielle? Danielle : Where are the tapestries, and the candlesticks, and the silver? Perhaps the dress is with them. Danielle : What bothers you more stepmother? That I am common? Or that I am competition? [asking when they can meet again] Danielle : I shall try. Prince Henry : Then I shall wait all day. Danielle : The prince has read Utopia. Danielle : Just breathe... Danielle : [to Henry] Why did you have to be so wonderful? Movie Title: Everyone Says I Love You (1996) as Schuyler Dandridge: Charles Ferry : If you were my girl, I'd make love to you in every room of the house, on every table top, on every rug... Schuyler Dandridge : We also have some lovely Early American chandeliers... Movie Title: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) as Gertie: Michael : Maybe it was an iguana. Elliot : It was NO iguana. Michael : You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers? Gertie : Alligators in the sewers. Mary : All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. Elliot : I couldn't have imagined it! Michael : Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something. Gertie : A deformed kid. Michael : Maybe an elf or a leprechaun? Elliot : It was nothing like that, penis-breath! Mary : If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't catch it, just call me and we'll call somebody and have them take it away. Gertie : Like the dogcatcher? Elliot : But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something. Michael : Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live. Could be a monkey or an orangutan. Elliot : A bald monkey? Gertie : Is he a pig? He sure eats like one. Elliot : Oh, God! E.T. : Elliot. Elliot : What? E.T. : Elliot! Elliot! Gertie : I taught him how to talk. He can talk now. Elliot : Wait. Can you say 'E.T.'? E.T.? E.T. : E.T. Elliot : Aha! E.T. : E.T.! E.T.! E.T.! [Mary hits E.T. with the refrigerator door] Gertie : Here he is. Mary : Who? Gertie : The man from the moon. But I think you've killed him already. [after E.T. learns how to talk] Mary : Gertie, I've gotta go pick up Elliot from school. Gertie : Mama, he can talk! Mary : [thinking she meant Elliot] Of course he can talk. |
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