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 Michelle Trachtenberg Quotation"I love gardening. I think it's very therapeutic when you're having a bad day." [On being involved in a Buffy spin-off] "I didn't see myself continuing as Dawn because I like to have diversity in my roles. A lot of people are like: "Oh my God! Little Dawn grew up!" And as much as I love you guys, suck it up." [On why she chose not to continue her role as Dawn Summers] "I felt like every year, my character got younger as I got older. The scripts even had me speaking grammatically incorrectly. So I had to do something else. Besides, the show is over. If you miss it, get the DVDs." [on the future of Buffy] I'm sure that in some way, shape or form "Buffy" will be continued or the story, through the fans, because we do have such devoted fans and that's always been very sweet. "One day I'd like to win an Oscar. But, I tell my mom if I ever get to be rude and demanding to let me know and I'll stop it. I don't want to be an actor like that." "My confidence comes from me, Michelle, as a person. I don't necessarily believe that I will act and be a lead forever, but I want to continue to act for a long time. I love to do what I do." "A fashion editor at Vogue, that would be awesome." (On her dream job) "Anything you throw at me, I'll try to tackle." Movie Title: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997) as Dawn: Dawn : You wanna know what I'm scared of, Spike? Me. Right now, Glory thinks Tara's the Key. But I'm the Key, Spike. I am. And anything that happens to Tara... is 'cause of me. Your bruises, your limp... that's all me, too. I'm like a lightning rod for pain, and hurt... and everyone around me suffers and dies. I must be something so horrible to cause so much pain and evil. Spike : Rot. Dawn : What do you know? Spike : I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil. Dawn : Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good. Spike : Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay. Buffy : [sighing] We need to find Willow. Xander : Yeah, she's off the wagon big-time. Warren's a dead man if she finds him. Dawn : [bitterly] Good. Buffy : Dawn, don't say that. Dawn : Why not? I'd do it myself if I could. Buffy : Because you don't really feel that way. Dawn : Yes I do. And you should too. He killed Tara, and he nearly killed you. He needs to pay. Xander : Out of the mouths of babes. Buffy : Xander. Xander : I'm just saying he's... he's just as bad as any vampire you've sent to dustville. Buffy : Being a Slayer doesn't give me a license to kill. Warren's human. Dawn : [scoffs] So? Buffy : So the human world has its own rules for dealing with people like him. Xander : Yeah, we all know how well those rules work. Buffy : Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. We can't control the universe. If we were supposed to... then the magic wouldn't change Willow the way it does. And... we'd be able to bring Tara back. Dawn : [quietly] And Mom. Buffy : There are limits to what we can do. There should be. Willow doesn't want to believe that. And now she's messing with forces that want to hurt her. All of us. Xander : I just... I've had blood on my hands all day. Blood from people I love. Buffy : I know. And now it has to stop. Warren's going to get what he deserves. I promise. But I will *not* let Willow destroy herself. [last line of the series] Dawn : Buffy? What are we gonna do now? Spike : I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil. Dawn : Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm not evil but I don't think I can be good. Spike : Well, I'm not good and I'm okay. Dawn : The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it. Spike : Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm where nothing can eat you? Dawn : Is that supposed to scare me? Spike : Little tremble wouldn't hurt. Dawn : Sorry, it's just that, I'm badder than you. Spike : Are not. Dawn : Am too, your standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm... Spike : What? sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates? Dawn : Lurk much? Spike : I wasn't lurking, I was standin' about. It's a totally different vibe. Dawn : It's okay. You guys don't have to make a big deal for me. I'm only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink. Xander : No, no, that's not it at all, they just need time to, um, be tender. Relax. Anya : He's not very convincing is he? Dawn : What are you doing? Buffy : My boyfriend. Dawn : I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all twitchy and secretive. Spike : They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect. Dawn : I feel safe with you. Spike : Take that back. [referring to spikes bandages] Dawn : Keep the pressure on. Spike : Always do sweet pea. Buffy : How was school today? Dawn : The usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair. Buffy : Just how I remember it. Ben : Two steaming cups of chocolate goodness courtesy of whoever I swiped it from out of the cupboard. Couldn't find any marshmallows. I'll try to steal some for next time. Dawn : Don't like 'em anyway. Ben : What? Is that even possible? Dawn : Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains... Dawn : Um, guys, hello, puberty? Sort of figured out the whole no-Santa thing. Anya : That's a myth. Dawn : Yeah. Anya : No, I mean, it's a myth that it's a myth. There is a Santa Claus. Xander : The advantage of having a thousand-year-old girlfriend. Inside scoop. Tara Maclay : There's a Santa Claus? Anya : Mm-hmm. Been around since, like, the 1500s. But he wasn't always called Santa. But with, you know, Christmas night, flying reindeer, coming down the chimney, all true. Dawn : All true? Anya : Well, he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disemboweled children. But otherwise... Willow : The reindeer part was nice. Dawn : [excited] Oh my God. You'll never believe what happened at school today. Buffy : Everybody started singing and dancing? Dawn : [pauses, deflating] I gave birth to a pterodactyl. Anya : Oh my God, did it sing? Buffy : See... [points to Dawn's necklace] Buffy : You're Dawn. Dawn : [looks down] "Or, 'umad.'" Dawn : So, you don't have a name? Buffy : Of course I do. I just don't happen to know it. Dawn : I can give you a name. Buffy : That's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I think I'll name me... Joan. Dawn : Ugh. Buffy : What? Did you just 'ugh' my name? Dawn : No. I just - I mean... it's so 'blah.' Joan? Buffy : I like it. I feel like a Joan. Dawn : I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around. Buffy : What does that mean? Dawn : Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you. Buffy : Huh? Dawn : I've been kissed before. I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss slut. Just, you know, with the lips and the pressing together and stuff. Hey, expert here. Okay, okay, it was my first kiss. I know, I know, I suck. My lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled on you. Anya : I know what you can do. Buffy : What? Anya : Start charging. Buffy : For what? Anya : For slaying. Dawn : Buffy can't charge innocent people for saving their lives. Anya : Sure she can. Spider-Man does. Dawn : No, he doesn't. Anya : Yes, he does. Dawn : No, he doesn't. Xander? Xander : Action is his reward. Anya : Uh, hot chocolate for Dawn. You're too young for coffee. Dawn : [Possessed] Idiots. Anya : You can have my coffee. Dawn : Drive faster. Xander : I can't. Dawn : I could drive faster and I can't drive. Anya : She's right. You're like a snail. A snail who's driving a car. Now give it the lead foot. We help Buffy with that demon you sent after her. Xander : I did not send the demon after her, he used my body to eavesdrop in on our conversation. Anya : So now what, we have to speak in an anti-demon code? Xander : Ood-gay idea-yay An-yay. Dawn : You know, my big sister could really beat the crap out of her. I mean, really, really. Buffy : Xander must've broken the talisman. Dawn : How do you know there was a talisman? Buffy : There's always a talisman. Buffy : Doesn't matter how well prepped you are or how well armed you are, you're a little girl. Dawn : Woman. Buffy : Little woman. Dawn : I'm taller than you. Dawn : I like music. I'm very into Britney Spears' early work, before she sold out. So mostly her finger painting and macaroni art. Dawn : Spike. You sleep, right? You. Vampires. You sleep. Spike : Yeah. What's your point, niblet? Dawn : Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her... you're gonna wake up on fire. Dawn : You guys need to really to ease up with the whole dating demons thing. Buffy : Um, hello. I'm sorry, wasn't that you having the smooch-a-thon with teen vampire last Halloween? Dawn : See, this is why I don't want you talking to my friends. Dawn : I'm sure there's tons of stuff like this. You know, procedures we can use that don't involve magic spells. Just good solid detective work. And we can develop a database of tooth impressions and demon skin samples and I could wear high heels more often. Buffy : Wow, that was so close to being empowered. [singing] Dawn : Anchovies, anchovies, you're so delicious. I love you more, than all the other fishes. Dawn : Willow and Tara are witches, which is so much cooler than being a slayer. I told my mom once that I wish that they would teach me some of the stuff they do alone together. Then she got all quiet and made me go to my room. Dawn : [sarcastic] We're all safe. Right. And Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with. Tara Maclay : It sounded convincing when I thought it up. Dawn : Math. This seemed more fun when we were singing about it. Andrew Wells : I was about to be dead. You saved me. Buffy : For the time being. But if you don't tell us what we need to know, then I'm gonna offer you to The First on a platter and let him chop you into tiny pieces. Andrew Wells : The first what? Anya : The name of the evil thing that pretended to be Warren to get you to kill Jonathan. Andrew Wells : Oh, not very ominous sounding. Dawn : No, it is if you understand the context. Andrew Wells : No, an evil name should be like Lex or Voldemort, or... Dawn : There's blood on this. Lots. Looks like The First made another sacrifice. Or a music video. Dawn : So it might not work? Rupert Giles : Well the stone's just a catalyst for the process. The rest is up to Spike. Spike : And how do you expect to get that hunk of rubble into my cranium? Buffy : You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home. Dawn : Yeah well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me. Buffy : Fine. I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night, that you got Anya hurt, invited a vampire in, got kidnapped... Dawn : We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side. Xander : All those shops gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys R Us, who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them? Dawn : Do you know that ancient Sumerians do not speak English? Buffy : They're worse than the French. Buffy : Don't you have any real homework? Dawn : Oh, you mean, like, schoolwork? Buffy : Yes. Dawn : Well, I've got a system. It's called flunking out. No, just kidding. I'm paying someone to do my work. I'm kidding. I love to see your eyeballs change color when you think I'm gonna flunk out. Dawn : I've been reading this old Turkish spell book. There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying. Willow : Oh yeah. I think I've read a translation of it. Dawn : There's a translation of it? [Dawn sighs] Dawn : I'm over it. Buffy : Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad. Dawn : 'Cause it was Spike. Buffy : Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is dangerous and icky. Dawn : I don't think Spike is icky. Buffy : Yeah, well, think again sister. [Pause] Buffy : You have a crush on him. Dawn : No I don't. It's just... he's got cool hair and he wears cool leather coats and stuff. Dawn : I tell you I have this theory. It goes where, you're the one who's not my sister. Cuz mom adopted you from a shoe box full of baby howler monkeys, and never told you cuz it could hurt your delicate baby feelings. Buffy : That's your theory? Dawn : Explains your fashion sense. And smell. Dawn : I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right? Buffy : Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me. Dawn : They were talking about me, just like everybody is. Xander : Again, not so much. In fact, none. Anya : We were talking about sex. I mean, you know us, sometimes we like to pretend stuff... Joyce : Um... Xander : Anya. Anya : You know, like, say there's a fireman, or a shepherd... Buffy : You know what? Let's not have this exchange of images right now. Buffy : Are you okay? Did she hurt you? Dawn : Why do you care? Buffy : Because I love you. You're my sister. Dawn : No I'm not. Buffy : Yes you are. Look, it's blood. It's Summers blood. It's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or-or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't. [Dawn kicks Buffy in the shin] Buffy : Ow. Dawn : Dumbass. [Buffy looks at Xander] Xander : Don't look at me. This is a Summers' thing. It's all very violent. [Glares at Dawn] Buffy : If you get killed, I'm telling. Justin: Nah. Cold doesn't really bother me. Dawn : [smiles] What are you, Superman? Justin: No, but... I do have a few special powers. Dawn : My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else does, all the time. Willow : Got it. Dawn : Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says. Willow : Okay. Dawn : People may say something to you you don't understand, just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying. Willow : You know, Dawn, I've been to college before. Dawn : People may say something like, "My protein window closes in an hour." Just... nod and smile. "Mm-hmm." Turns out it has something to do with fitness. Giles : Gah! Xander : Touch him! Dawn : I feel him! I feel him! Xander : Me too. Andrew : Me too! Giles : Yes. Good. We all feel each other. Including those of us who don't really know each other well enough to take such liberties. I assume there's a perfectly reasonable and not-at-all insane explanation coming, yes? Anya : We thought you might be non-corporeal evil. Willow : It's a text message. Oh, it's from Xander. It's one of our signals. Amanda : Signals? Willow : Yeah, the system we set up a while back. Like codes. Uh, this one's either "I just got lucky, don't call me for a while" or "my date's a demon who's trying to kill me." Kennedy : You don't remember which? Willow : It was a long time ago. Dawn : Well, if we play the percentages... Giles : Something's eating Xander's head. Anya : Say, that's gratifying. Movie Title: Six Feet Under (2001) as Celeste: Celeste : [to Keith] How come you didn't tell me you were gay, bitch? Celeste : [on the phone] Fine, I'll do the crappy Kids Choice Awards, but I'm not presenting with Hilary fucking Duff. |
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