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 Catherine Zeta-Jones Quotation"I used to go around looking as frumpy as possible because it was inconceivable you could be attractive as well as be smart. It wasn't until I started being myself, the way I like to turn out to meet people, that I started to get any work." "I like women who look like women. I hated grunge. No one's more feminist than me, but you don't have to look as if you don't give a - you know. You can be smart, bright, and attractive aesthetically to others - and to yourself." "In Wales it's brilliant. I go to the pub and see everybody who I went to school with. And everybody goes "So what you doing now?" And I go, "Oh, I'm doing a film with Antonio Banderas and Anthony Hopkins." And they go, "Ooh, good." And that's it." After Scottish actor Sean Connery presented her with the Oscar: "A Scotsman giving a Welsh girl an Oscar - oh my God!" "After Zorro, people spoke Spanish to me for ages. I'm Welsh but that movie instantly gave me a new ethnicity." Movie Title: Entrapment (1999) as Gin / Virginia "Gin" Baker: Gin : You stole my suitcase? Mac : I'm a thief. So sue me. Virginia "Gin" Baker : That's entrapment. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : No, it's blackmail. Entrapment is what cops do to thieves. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : I have absolutely no reason to believe anything you say. Virginia "Gin" Baker : But you want to. Virginia "Gin" Baker : Look what you've done to that beautiful car! Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : Thank God it's not mine. Virginia "Gin" Baker : Is all this paid for? Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : With blood. Virginia "Gin" Baker : I'm not who you think I am, Mac. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : I hope not. For your sake. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : What's the job? Virginia "Gin" Baker : Like the wise man said: first we try then we trust. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : You are the most beautiful crook I've ever seen. Virginia "Gin" Baker : Why, thank you kind sir. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : I don't like surprises. Virginia "Gin" Baker : Trust me, there won't be any. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : Trust me, there always are surprises. Virginia "Gin" Baker : I give you the world's tallest building. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : And we're going to steal it? Virginia "Gin" Baker : Confucius say: never use a cannon to kill a mosquito. Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : Give me the spanner! Virginia "Gin" Baker : The what? Robert 'Mac' MacDougal : The wrench! [repeated line] Virginia "Gin" Baker : It was perfect! Movie Title: Tinseltown TV (2002) as Catherine Zeta-Jones: Catherine Zeta-Jones : Sheeraz you have the number one show in Tinseltown. Movie Title: Splitting Heirs (1993) as Kitty: Kitty : That's Henry's mother, the black sheep in the family. She took so many strokes in the 60s they called her the U.S. open. Movie Title: The Haunting (1999) as Theo: Theo : You feel cut off from the world, but the world has missed you. Happy tossing and turning. [looking at the "Door Of Hell"] Theo : You don't get this from the Martha Stewart Catalog. Theo : Isn't this based on the Gates of Hell, by Rodin? Eleanor "Nell" Vance : Well, It's not just hell. You see these children are reaching up for heaven, but their souls are still trapped in purgatory. And these are the demons, who can stay with their souls for as long as they want. Theo : Did you study art? Eleanor "Nell" Vance : No, I studied purgatory, I was there once for eleven years. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : Have you ever kept something for yourself because you were afraid? Theo : All the time. Theo : Hi. Don't worry I'm not an obsessive packer it's just a cheap and exploitative way of making new friends, I'm Theo. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : Eleanor, but everybody calls me Nell. Theo : Well, "Everybody Calls Me Nell", don't you love it here? It's like Charles Foster Kane meets the Munsters. Theo : Is this one of your sick jokes, Luke? Luke : What? You really think I wrote that? Theo : You found it; you could have. Luke : How, with the twenty-foot ladder I keep in my back pocket? Dr. David Marrow : Ok, so what do we all need in life? What are the basics? Food, water, shelter... Theo : ...Sex. Dr. David Marrow : The gate is still locked we have to wait until the Dudleys arrive. Luke : What? That's really compassion. Yeah "Let's wait until the morning, so tomorrow I have time to write a few more Welcome Home Eleanor's". Dr. David Marrow : Luke, I didn't write that stuff, OK? Luke : Of course you didn't that wouldn't be ethical, would it doc... Theo : Would you guys just shut up? Dr. David Marrow : Because it was a controlled experiment. Theo : A controlled experiment? She's in total shock, you can't do that. Dr. David Marrow : I told you, it wasn't meant to be like this. Theo : O c'mon, you don't care about insomnia, you just wanted to scare the hell out of us to be fit in your little test or model, in end to understand this. You can't do it... Dr. David Marrow : LISTEN. You listen to me. I am trying to help people. My field of study is the science of fear, I try to understand why people act the way they act, why they feel the way they feel... [Theo slaps Marrow] Theo : You don't feel. Luke : And you I'm gonna guess, are a les... Theo : Don't even start. Luke : Wow, You're so bossy and domineering... Theo : Thanks. Theo. Dr. David Marrow : Eleanor, none of this is real. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : Yes, it is real. Dr. David Marrow : It's not real. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : You have to go look for the bones in the fireplace Dr. David Marrow : It's not real. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : I saw... I saw his wife hanging in the greenhouse, I know, I saw it. Dr. David Marrow : No we'll be all gone, and the Dudley's will arrive in the morning and we can go. All of you. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : I can't believe you're not gonna look. Theo : Ok, that's enough of you; I'm taking her upstairs. I think you've done enough. Eleanor "Nell" Vance : You'll never gonna believe how I found them. Theo : How did you find them? Eleanor "Nell" Vance : The blood led me to the bookcase. Theo : The blood? Eleanor "Nell" Vance : Little footprints in blood. Theo : Nell, I'm worried about you. Theo : [about pergatory] I've been there. It's when you're on an 18-hour flight from L.A. to Paris and you're stuck in coach. Movie Title: The Mask of Zorro (1998) as Elena: Alejandro Murrieta : Do you surrender? Elena : Never, but I may scream. Alejandro Murrieta : I understand. Sometimes I have that effect. [In a confessional, Alejandro posing as a priest] Elena : Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession. Alejandro Murrieta : Three days? How many sins could you have committed in three days? Come back when you have more time, please. [In a confessional, Alejandro posing as a priest] Elena : I have broken the fourth commandment, padre. Alejandro Murrieta : You killed somebody? Elena : No, that is not the fourth commandment. Alejandro Murrieta : [pause] Of course not. [In a confessional, Alejandro posing as a priest] Elena : I dishonored my father. Alejandro Murrieta : That is not so bad. Maybe your father deserved it. Don Rafael Montero : Do you recognize him? Elena : No, but he was young and vigorous. He was very vigorous, father. Elena : Yes, were you looking for something? Alejandro : A sense of the miraculous in everyday life. [whispering to his baby son] Alejandro Murrieta : And so it was. Lighting split the sky, thunder shook the earth, and then all was quiet. The great warrior known as Zorro was gone. The people of the land gave him a hero's funeral, the largest anyone had ever seen. They came from far and wide to say farewell to their brave and noble champion. But don't worry, little Joaquin. Whenever great deeds are remembered, your grandfather will live on. For there must always, always be a Zorro. And some day, when he's needed, we will see him again... on his fearsome steed Tornado, riding like the wind, his sword blazing in the sun... leaping, jumping, swinging through the air... fighting like a lion. Fighting like a tiger. Fighting... [sees Elena watching him] Alejandro Murrieta : ...as safely as possible. Elena : Is this your idea of putting the baby to sleep? Elena : When I sleep, I will dream of this dashing rogue Zorro. But what face shall I give him? Alejandro Murrieta : He has been many different men, but he has loved you as all of them Elena : How can I refuse such a man? Do you know where I might find him? Alejandro Murrieta : You know Zorro. He could be anywhere. Movie Title: Intolerable Cruelty (2003) as Marylin Rexroth: Miles Massey : I guess, something inside of me died, when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me. Marylin Rexroth : Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me. Freddy Bender : No. Both of you wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone. Wrigley : Hear, hear. Freddy Bender : Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house. Wrigley : Miles's house. Freddy Bender : Whatever. A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself. Marylin Rexroth : They bought Massey's argument. If I lied or cheated and was with Rex only for his money, then he shouldn't have to give me any. Sarah Sorkin : Well, that makes no sense. Why else would you put in all those years? [Marylin's poodle bites Miles Massey on his hand] Marylin Rexroth : Ow. Howard. Miles Massey : Howard. You named him after your ex. Marylin Rexroth : I'm sentimental. Movie Title: Les Mille et une nuits (1990) as Sheherazade: Sheherazade : I am very good at running away. Movie Title: The Phantom (1996) as Sala: Sala : He's in love with her. Quill : How do you know that? Sala : Because he could have had me, but chose her. That could only be love. Xander Drax : Or simply bad judgment. Movie Title: Katharina die Große (1995) as Catherine: Catherine : I'm about to seize the throne of Russia. Whatever shall I wear? Movie Title: Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003) as Marina: Marina : Are you sure... Sinbad : Yes, we have done this kind of thing before, no, there is no other way, and yes, you do have my permission to stand there quietly and receive a free lesson in sailing. Marina : Knife, please. Sinbad : Oh, right, like I'd give you a weapon. [Everyone is seasick from being towed in the wake of a giant fish] Sinbad : Whose idea was that again? Marina : I don't know... but he owes me lunch. Marina : So, how do we get down? Sinbad : I don't know. [She stares at him] Sinbad : I don't know yet. Marina : You scaled a thousand-foot tower of ice, and you don't know how to get down? Sinbad : Hey, if you'd rather take your chances by yourself, that can be arranged! Marina : You came to rescue me? Sinbad : Well - yes, if that's what you want to call it. But this is going to cost you another diamond. Rescues are not part of the usual tourist package. Movie Title: America's Sweethearts (2001) as Gwen: [to her assistant] Gwen : Nobody knows what it is like being me. Did we brush my teeth? Gwen : Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Eddie : Actually, it really is a gun. [shoots her multiple times] Gwen : Your pillow's better than mine. Gwen : ...Oh, and Hector is very well endowed. Hector : Almost too well endowed. I've had complaints. Literally. Gwen : We are like Sodom and Gomorrah Lee : Gwen, your dog just swallowed the window washer. Gwen : Puppy! Lee : Puppy? It's a raptor. Kiki : Time for prozac. Lee : She's taking prozac? Kiki : If only, the dog. Kiki : I bet you've never read a book in your life. Gwen : Ha! I read *all four* of the Harry Potter books! Gwen : Everyone hates me, everyone wants a piece of me. My therapist is out of the country, I wasn't nominated for a Golden Globe this year! Leave me alone! Gwen : He was outside my cottage doing something... Not Good! Lee : Gwen, everybody does it. Gwen : I know everyone does it! That's not the point! Gwen : Kiki? What was the name of that movie? Kiki : I don't give a shit! Eddie : No, that wasn't it. Movie Title: Traffic (2000) as Helena Ayala: Helena Ayala : Not *in*; the doll *is* cocaine. Helena Ayala : Now get out of the car and shoot him in the head! Helena Ayala : I'm on the board of my son's school, I have fundraisers for adult literacy at my own home. I think I have a right to know if my husband is a legitimate business man. [Carlos has just had Arnie killed] Helena Ayala : Who was on the phone? Carlos Ayala : Oh that was Arnie. He won't be able to make it to the barbeque. Movie Title: Chicago (2002) as Velma Kelly: Velma Kelly : She stole my garters. Roxie : You're, THE Velma Kelly. I was there the night you got arrested. Velma Kelly : Yeah? You and half of Chicago. Velma Kelly : [about Roxie] First she steals my publicity. Then she steals my lawyer, my trial date. And now she steals my goddamn garter. Velma Kelly : [to Roxie] You wanted advice? Well here it is... straight from me to you... keep your paws off my underwear. Roxie : It'll never work. Velma Kelly : Why not? Roxie : Because I hate you. Velma Kelly : There's only one business where that's no problem at all. Velma Kelly : My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop. My sister and I were headed straight for the top. My sister and I made a thou a week at least, but my sister is now unfortunately deceased. I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact. And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect double act. Velma Kelly : [Rising from the stage alone] 'C'mon Babe, why don't we paint the town... And all that Jazz. I'm gonna rouge my knees and role my stockings down... And all Jazz. Start the car I know a whoopie spot... where the gin is cold and the pianos hot. It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl... And all that Jazz. Liz : Pop. Annie : Six. June : Squish. Hunyack : Uh-uh. Velma Kelly : Cicero. Mona : Lipschitz. Court officer: Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Velma Kelly : And then some. Velma Kelly : My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back-flips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozin, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead. Velma Kelly : [singing] No I'm no one's wife, but oh, I love my life and all that jazz. Velma Kelly : Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky. I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high 'cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear to all that jazz. Velma Kelly : You know you're really not that bad. Roxie : Yeah, that and a dime. What the hell are you doing here. Velma Kelly : Heard you been making the rounds. Roxie : Yeah well, if it was up to you I'd be swinging by now. Velma Kelly : I'd always knew Billy get you off. You should know how to put things behind you. Roxie : I'll put that at the top of my list once I find a job... and an apartment, with a jon. [Roxie falls down] Ms. Sunshine : Roxie, dear, what happened? Roxie : Oh, don't worry about me. I just hope it didn't hurt the baby. [Reporters gasp] Velma Kelly : [watching from stairs] Oh, shit. Velma Kelly : [singing] Now you see me goin' through it. You may think there's nothin' to it. But I simply cannot do it alone. Velma Kelly : She'd say, "What's your sister like?" I'd say, "Men." Velma Kelly : [To Roxie] What's your talent? Wash and dry? Velma Kelly : You wanted me advice, right? Well here it is. Don't forget Billy Flynn's number one client is... Billy Flynn. Roxie : What's that supposed to mean? Velma Kelly : It means, don't let him hog the spot-light when you're the one they paid to see. Velma Kelly : I just can't take it anymore. I can't go anywhere without hearing about that damn tomato. [Mama sits up with a wig that's like Roxie's hair] Velma Kelly : Oh no, Mama, not you too. Billy Flynn : Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony? Velma Kelly : Of course. I'm not a complete idiot. Roxie : You see, ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be on the stage. Velma Kelly : Oh yeah? What's your talent; washing and drying? Velma Kelly : Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes... And all that jazz. I hear that father dip is gonna blow the blues... And all that jazz. Hold on hun we're gonna bunny hug, I bought some aspirin down at united drug. In case we shake apart and want a brand new start to do that Jazz. Velma Kelly : Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose And all that jazz. Right up here is where I store the juice... And all that jazz. Velma Kelly : Oh, you're gonna see her sheeba shimmy shake... And all that jazz. Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break... And all that jazz. Show her where to park her girdle. Oh, her mothers blood'll curdle if she hear her babies queer for All that jazz... Movie Title: The Terminal (2004) as Amelia: Amelia : Are you coming or going? Viktor Navorski : I don't know. Both. Frank Dixon : You could have any man you wanted... why Viktor Navorski? Amelia : That's something a man like you could *never* hope to understand. Amelia : I wish sex wasn't so amazing. Amelia : I have to go. Viktor Navorski : I have to stay. Amelia : Story of my life. Viktor Navorski : Me too. |
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